


Hell's Kitchen: Heroes vs Villains

by JacobJones



Category: Hell's Kitchen (US TV) RPF
Genre: Competition, Dream Season, Gen, Hell's Kitchen, There will be sweat, competition fic, heroes vs villains, or something like that, there will be blood - Freeform, there will be tears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-02-05 09:43:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacobJones/pseuds/JacobJones
Summary: This is the story of one chef, twenty veteran competitors and a special ingredient called destiny as told by three lemony spirits.It is as every bit as awesome as it sounds.





	1. Heroes vs Villains

**Author's Note:**

> Well.
> 
> Here we go again.

Chapter 1: Act I- It Begins

The great master that rules over our playground with a watchful eye has granted us permission to reveal our impressions on a recent event that has taken place in this very facility. But among first priorities, it is in our best interests to introduce our being and kind to those who may seem unsure or confused by our presence. True, it all seems bizarre at first and the first reaction amongst you may be to flee in terror among hearing that such creatures from the Underworld do exist, but if you listen carefully and understand the full story: There is hope that we coexist in a peaceful manner.

We first ask by chance if you have ever been to a place known as Hell’s Kitchen?

Ah yes. The classy and unpredictable pride of California for the better part of twelve years. The only one of it’s kind where you never truly know what it is you receive, and one whose end result can always wind up in disaster. Every year or so, a new group comes in to prove themselves to the great master; hundreds have tried and either cracked in the seams or fought valiantly and yet still fell on the last hurdle.

And then there are the handful few that have walked away victorious, their lives forever changed for the better; all because they had one characteristics about them inside their soul that differed from all the rest, the one thing that no other being in that group obtained. It could have been determination, or maybe courage, or maybe it was just meant to be. As if it was their destiny let’s say.

But even so, if one thing was for certain; there ne’er was to be a dull moment. Now you may ask yourself, how does one, two, wait now three sentient beings cloaked in a mysterious air and with a permanent aura of mystique clouded around them know so much about the ongoings of what is supposed to be a high quality establishment that doubled itself with it’s games and challenges, it’s twists and turns, it’s friendships and rivals.

Well dear friend, a secret long kept by the great master has been revealed; for it is us who guard the land when he resigns into his off-season slumber. We watch over every pot and pan, every table, every dorm and room there is to see inside this extravagant playground of wonder, excitement and yet important still: Mystique.

Once he returns with his newest batch of desperate victims, poking at the chance to work alongside their idol; we expel ourselves to the background, observing all things from inside the great master’s office. We have seen everything that is to be seen inside these doors. Challenges, punishments, arguments, rivalries, eliminations, whatever it is you tell us, chances are we have seen it before any other.

For you see, we are the spirits of Hell’s Kitchen. And our great master? None on than the world famous Michelin star chef, Gordon Ramsay. Twelve years now he has ruled this land with an iron fist, and in return people have seen his attempts to turn complete unknowns and amateurs and then later legitimate chefs of varying experience into master chefs in their own right, all for the cause of being head chef at a swanky, five star restaurant that if won becomes their personal breeding ground for many aspiring men and women to take inspiration from.

And with each new batch of contestants there comes new games to play, new stories to tell, more souls that will either be humiliated or beloved by the viewing public. And with each passing year, the stories only get more chaotic, more gruesome, more...hellish let’s say; but we assure the reader that the pleasure and struggle is all the more worth it should they reach the nirvana.

And that my friends, brings us to the reason why we bring you this story. Not long ago, in this very kitchen; a season not before seen had concluded. The Great Master Ramsay had invited sixteen black jacketed warriors back inside the hallowed doors for one more round, with the promise of the sole survivor taking the reins for the first ever restaurant based on our home all the way in the sultry casino filled deserts of Las Vegas. When it was over, there were two brothers in arms that passed the test of time to reach this very point: Milly and Nick we believe their names were.

In the end, it was Nick who had prevailed and taken the job of head chef in a very close race. But no matter the outcome, both men had forever cemented themselves as Hell’s Kitchen legends, stories that would forever be told to the generations following ours. When the season was over and the last of the champagne drunk, Ramsay sent us to his office to discuss everything that had occurred.

There was the usual praise and respect to every contestant that came through those doors, but near the end; when Ramsay had prepared for his imminent leave of absence, he turned to us and his usual charm; he told us to be on the lookout as next year, he had plans to unleash a ‘dream season’.

The dream season. That was on the minds of the three of us all throughout hibernation. What could this have meant? There was a chance that this would end up being another all star season or a regular season with regular contestants simply coated in glowing hyperbole (The great master always did enjoy puffing his words up to mean something much better or worse than what it really was), but the way he mentioned this ‘dream season’ seemed...different. Almost as if he had planned this for years upon end. And once we thought about it, oh how our minds fell through the rabbit hole.

Was the great master planning to bring all of the runners up back for one more round? Was this to be simply the final season? Would the former right hand man of Ramsay, Scott be planning a comeback? Maybe Andi? Or maybe, just maybe, the great master had planned to bring every former champion home to prove once and for all who the ultimate champion really was. We waited for an update, we waited to hear what the news would be, we waited as long and hard as we could. And yet still, nothing. Nothing that is, but the air that confounded us. The air of silence.

And then the big day came. Great Master Ramsay had at long last returned and just in the nick of time, for there were three spirits with many questions waiting to be answered. But Ramsay to our surprise refused, nary even a glance at them. He simply shuffled up to his office with but a peep. With curiosity getting the best of us, we listened in as he talked to himself.

Many phrases were spilt on that day, like the aforementioned ‘dream season’ and ‘returning veterans’ which seemed to cement our thoughts of a second all star season, but new ones such as ‘old legends’ and ‘forgotten contestants’ also entered the fray, he even came up with two ‘second place men’. Whatever that meant. And yet, more ideas came into our minds; all of which came to a head when the following words came from the great master himself.

“It’s a bit of a risk, only happened once before. But you know, I’m always up for a challenge. Even if it means bringing some of the most insufferable chefs back for another round. At least there will be an equal number of chefs the viewing public love to round things out.”

So it was settled. For the first time in the history of Hell’s Kitchen, there was to be a duel between ten of the most beloved and the most despised. The pure versus the wicked. The humble versus the arrogant. The lovable versus the insufferable. Heroes versus villains. 

Only once had this ever been attempted, with Jeff Probst and his immortal Survivor. But the very idea that a season of this caliber and potential following up a season featuring only the best filled us all up with joyous and optimistic thoughts on the future that waited us. When the door opened and he walked out, our emotions burst in front of his own two eyes as we celebrated and praised this new idea.

“Oh, Great Master Ramsay!” We cried, “Your glorious plans to revive the holy and satanic bring us great joy and pleasure! We wholeheartedly endorse this concept and will forever be honored by your grace, dear master.” Ramsay always found this greeting a little odd. There was no one really around to talk to besides us spirits, and being it still off season; there was little reason to call him anything other than Gordon. But in our defense, this was what he asked for when Hell’s Kitchen was first created.

Finally, in his familiar British tone he spoke. “Well, uh; that was...very sudden. But that was what I came to ask if you for, and judging from your responses it sounds like a resounding yes.” He lured us inside, where he asked us for advice as to how to go about this season. What obstacles would he throw? What rewards would be handed out? Who would we bring back? And more importantly, how would we?.

Chapter 1: Act II- The Class of Hell

The news spread like wildfire o’er the days that followed. The very thought that Chef Ramsay was to bring twenty former contestants back was an exciting prospect and had the tabloids hopping mad with ecstasy. Still, there were many things that confused even them. For the first time in a long time, the cast was not to be revealed and any trailers that followed never mentioned them (though there were hints as to whom some of the contestants could be). People all across America, even the world were wondering what Ramsay had planned for this season of Hell’s Kitchen.

The plan was simple: In order to bring our twenty men and women back, we would invite them to a ‘reunion’ of sorts to celebrate and reminisce of the past seasons inside Hell’s Kitchen. None would be the wiser as they arrived. And then one day, the day arrived: The season that would permanently change the fabric of Hell’s Kitchen would finally begin. Jamie Petrie (some called him Jocky), the right hand man of Ramsay would be back and so would former winner Christina Wilson. But what of the contestants? Who would be here? Who would accept the call? Tonight, the answer would be revealed.

The first of twenty limousines rolled in near the entrance to the room they would be staying in until all the guests had arrived, inside; a man with slightly aged hair and a refined smirk on his wait gave his seal of approval. 

Anton his name was, one of the best members on his team early in his season and an early candidate for the heralded black jackets; he would later start to struggle the longer he stayed, it got to a point where he had to be sent to the red team where he seemed to get better. But then an incident occurred with an oven, a wellington and a stark raving mad Chef Andi and things spiraled from there.

“See that?” Anton asked, pointing to the entrance. “That’s destiny right there.” Did we mention that he had a bit of an ego? Well, he did.

(Confessional: My first line of the season!)

Anton: I knew that one day, me and Chef Ramsay would meet each other again. I didn’t care where or when, I just knew. (Hesitating slightly) Granted, I also said that I’d have a restaurant next to one of his; but I’m working on that!

(END CONF)

The usher greeted him and opened the door, “Feeling like a king.” He mumbled to himself, liking the high quality of his return. As he walked inside the room, he was then welcomed by Marino and asked to patiently wait for the others to arrive. He headed off to take a seat in one of the comfy chairs or couches, but before he could; he noticed the twenty glasses of champagne, one for each contestant.

“Now this is living the good life.” He smirked to himself as he took his drink.

Back outside, entry number two was destined to show up. The attitude from this contestant was somewhat different, though he too wore a smile on his face; it was more of a jovial expression, expressing the will to meet the fellow men and women who fought the same battles he did. Sterling was his name, and he was loved by many a person; but don’t let his smile be the judge of his performance. He could go in the kitchen and tackle any station you asked him to be in, it took him some time to realize it; but the man had a gift. That gift? Being a natural born chef, or as he calls it ‘Being 100’.

(Confessional: If he’s a hundred, then I’m father time)

Sterling: (Excited) One hundred perfect is coming home! I’ve been missing this place, that’s where my man Gordon works at.

“Hey! Ramsay man!” Sterling called out after exiting his limo, hoping to get a response. “I’m home!” He hollered. But there was no echo, no recognition, nothing. “Ah well,” Sterling smiled as he shrugged it off. “He’s probably inside, getting everything ready.”

Sterling: I just can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees me again, he’ll be like; Sterling man, how’ve you been? And you know what i’ll tell him? I’ll tell him, I’ve been a hundred percent!

(END CONF)

Sterling merrily skipped his way inside, wondering what would be in store for him. Sure enough, he was like a child in a toy store as he saw Marino’s face. “Marino! How you been brother?” He said, giving him a friendly embrace. He took a look at his surroundings and then saw Anton, only driving his smile even further. “Seems like i’m not alone.” Anton smirked as Sterling made his way to where the Italian trained chef was. “Hiya, my name’s Sterling!” The lovable personality greeted himself, extending his hand. “Name’s Anton.” Anton smiled, accepting the warm gesture.

Little did they know, they would soon be joined by two more as the door opened yet again to reveal a fellow Season 12 combatant, the always smiling, adorkable Rochelle who surprised many by showing true ability and skill for both teams, not just in challenge and service, but sometimes confidence. “Oh my gosh!” She squeaked out, and she ran to Anton to splatter him with an embrace as warm as the sun, “How have you been? It’s been so long, I didn’t even plan this!”

(Confessional: Still lovably awkward even after all these years!)  
Rochelle: I’m just so happy to be back after all this time away, and seeing one of my old friends from my season again? It really just made my day.

(END CONF)

Rochelle chattered on and on about how much she missed him and how she didn’t know how to plan for this. Finally stopping when Sterling came up to her and introduced themselves. And then, a highlight from her season; she started to laugh her infectious giggle. “I’m sorry!” She said, trying to restrain herself. “I always get like that when I’m nervous!” But that was no problem to Sterling, who continued to smile away. “And it’s a very nice one at that!” Rochelle blushed and thanked her male counterpart for the compliment.

Not long after her arrival did returnees number four arrive; Detroit made Hassan, a fan favorite despite his early departure and for a time a candidate to go all the way during Season 15. That was until, well: he crashed and burned immensely one night and was not given a second chance. Regardless, he wasn’t going to let something that happened years ago dampen his spirits one bit and he greeted Marino with a welcoming handshake and went to meet the others. “Hello there!”

“Step inside my friend, the party’s only beginning!” Anton smiled and Hassan got his glass of champagne and introduced himself to the other three. “Welcome to room of love, how may we serve you?” Sterling joked, the others laughed and all was well with the world.

Back outside, the fifth limo was making it’s way carrying a rather tall but jovial figure. Nebraska’s four star general Bobby, unlike the other four: He did not start out on the right note, ending up being an inch away from elimination his first service; but he got better and proved to be one of the best on his season. He was older now, but yet even now he retained the same childlike spirit he had before.

The usher opened the door and Bobby proceeded to step out and head into the wilderness that was Hell’s Kitchen…

And then he proceeded to hit himself on the head on the limo top.

Not a large bash mind you, but enough to knock him down to his seat; the usher checked on him, concerned for his being. But he just smiled and lowered his head to ensure he would make it through this barrier. “Limos take a lot of skill to get off of!” He quipped. The usher chuckled at that joke and guided him to his room.

(Confessional: Where are they now?: Hell’s Kitchen edition)

Bobby: After Hell’s Kitchen, I went back to Nebraska; sharpened up my skills a little and did some catering jobs for a while. Currently, I am working as a culinary instructor and helping to teach the future chefs of the world all the basics. So in a way, being a four star general isn’t just a title anymore, it’s legitimate!

(END CONF)

You know how the drill goes by now, a soft and polite introduction followed by instant bonding. “So, what season are you from?” asked Anton. “Oh, I was a long time back, ten years ago.” Bobby answered, Bobby was not only one of the oldest contestants inside right now, he was also in one of the earliest seasons of this show. This served only to impress the chefs even further, but as we mentioned: That was how the drill went.

Up till now, things had remained relatively civil overall.

And they still did, do not get us spirits wrong; no living creature would want to mess up a glorious day like this. However, these next two contestants would wind bringing...a new edge on things, let’s say.

“How we doing tonight my brothers?!” A new voice hollered out, much to the bemusement of the others. Number six in the mix (hey, we rhymed!) brought in one of the most recent of contestants; the high energy, short tempered Johnny, sporting a new haircut (shaving off his infamous barbarian styled long hair) and a smile a mile wide. He sauntered in with a special charm to him, seemingly ready to take the world by storm. “Now I like this guy.” Anton declared, “This guy’s got the attitude for the kitchen.” Johnny and Anton high five each other, not long it was when first entered did he already have a supporter.

(Confessional: Glad to have you back)

Johnny: (excited) Wooo! I’m back in Hell’s Kitchen, maybe not as a contestant; BUT WHO CARES?! Chef Ramsay, thank you SO much for giving me a phone call!

(END CONF)

The others may have found his introduction bizarre, but as far they were concerned; he didn’t seem that bad. (In Anton’s case, he seemed like a great person) Probably not a head chef guy per-say, but definitely someone you could see yourself having a beer with. The person who followed him though, not so much.

The door opened once more, but this time the room felt a tinge of dismay on their shoulders when they realized who was next to join them on their remembrance of days yore. Jackie was her name, trash-talk was her game. One of the most outspoken contestants this game had ever seen, she was also one of the rudest, cockiest and most disrespectful chefs to be a part of Hell’s Kitchen history.

But tonight, she was in a good mood as shown by the swagger of her walk. “Alright, I see that my people already made it!” Outside from a friendly wave of the hand by Sterling, there was only silence and even a few dark glares directed to her. They knew her history very well and the very thought that she was here brought a disturbing chill to the air. “She’s no Miss Congeniality, i’ll tell you that much.” Hassan quietly deadpanned to Johnny, who could only snicker at the prospect; lest Jackie hear and both souls wind up being verbally assassinated from her.

Confessional: (A history lesson from someone who was there to see it)

Hassan: Jackie was extremely toxic, not just to her team, but to everyone.

It was true. Whenever drama was stirred or an argument commenced, chances were that Jackie was the cause of it. It didn’t exactly help that Jackie was far from the best chef on her team, making many crucial mistakes during her time inside hell. From admitting her will to send out raw chicken to never taking responsibility for mistakes; daring rival and teammate Kristen to ‘put her hands on her’ and even the dreaded bleep list that infuriated the daylights out of Christina.

The most insulting thing she did though was not inside the kitchen, but inside the dorms; she openly admitted to lying about how long she had been cooking. You see, every auditionee who wishes to be on the show must have at least two years of experience in whatever profession in the culinary world they work in. Jackie was only a chef for three months. This disgusted her team and made her trash-talk and egotism all the more angering, as it proved to be nothing more than the rantings of a overconfident rookie who had no real experience on the line and was in all retrospect, completely out of her depth.

But Hassan prefered to keep it short and sweet to save time.

Hassan: She was just not a team player and working with her proved to be a chore. And it says something when I can considered Frank (a rather sexist and hot headed military chef who feuded a lot with fellow blue team member Manda) a better team player than her.

(END CONF)

“So where’s the posse?” Johnny asked, skeptical of Jackie’s introduction. “Posse?” Jackie turned her head towards where Johnny sat and with drink in hand sat down next to him. “What posse?”

“Well, you just said that your people are here, so that would mean that you have a group of people worshipping your every move.” Johnny explained. “Oh no, I’m not famous.” Jackie cackled. “I’m just a New Jersey born woman ready to kick ass and take names.” Johnny rolled his eyes and hid a small grin to the best of his abilities.

From one bitch to another, Sara would then arrive in the scene. The textbook definition of a ‘bitch in sheep’s clothing’, Sara could be really nice to her fellow teammates and chefs, but when she couldn’t be found; she was happy to manipulate and belittle her competition. For the most part though, she was able to back the talk with the walk and made it up to the final four. Even so, there was a reason not too many people noticed. “Now I don’t know who this one is…” Sterling murmured as everyone else went about their business.

There was one person who had a vivid idea on who she was though, take a wild guess as to who it was. “Oh, I heard about you!” If you had guessed Jackie, ding ding, congratulations. You just won $64,000 for guessing the obvious answer to the question. “Yeah, didn’t you go to prison for beating your guy up? A weatherman nonetheless?” Sara sighed and grumbled to herself while she went to get her drink. Jackie just shook her head. “This is why I’m a lesbian…”

Eight down, here came lucky limo nine; and as noble and loyal spirits, we highly suggested not changing the channel to check if Whoopi Goldberg had actually arrived inside Hell’s Kitchen or if there had been a celebrity edition at one point and no one even noticed (Ironically, the U.K originally made it a competition against celebrity teams). This was Tenielle, one of the red team's very best during her season; but didn’t start out like that. In fact, she was regarded as a rather weak performer up until the day she stood up to Chef Ramsay, from that day on; Tenielle became a powerhouse during service and in challenges and last all the way until the final four. She was so popular, that she even returned to take on Season 9’s black jackets alongside four other competitors.

(Confessional: Whoopi’s seal of approval)

Tenielle: Hell’s Kitchen man...I don’t know where I’d be without it. Being there really just opened the doors for me and showed me that I had a bright future in this business. Then I came back and took on five new chefs; Now? I’m working with restaurants that consistently serve high quality food. That’s what Hell’s Kitchen did for me, and I can’t thank it enough.

Oh stop flattering us now…

(END CONF)

“Hello hello!” Tenielle called out and the other chefs responded with welcome and gratitude. “Oh geez, Rocky Balboa’s spirit really does live on!” Anton proclaimed, mentioning Tenielle’s underdog spirit. That got a few good laughs.

(Confessional: Give her some sugar)

Anton: Tenielle is one of these chefs you can’t just help but root for. Not trained for fine dining, she fought through seventeen other pricks and made a name for herself in doing so. That I can respect.

Bobby could agree with that.

Bobby: I loved Tenielle when I first saw her, she had that fighting spirit you just don’t see in a lot of other chefs and that quality is important in the kitchen.

And so could Rochelle.

Rochelle: Tenielle came a long way from where she started, she never gave up and she always tried her best no matter what odds she faced. Plus, she’s also pretty funny.

(END CONF)

“Next time you see a chef who looks awfully like a certain celeb and can bang it out day in, day out,” Tenielle started as everyone listened in anticipation. “Tell ‘em to come to Hell’s Kitchen, Ramsay will love you!”

And like it was in cue or something, everyone started to laugh. We cannot lie, even us spirits got a nice chuckle from it.

There would soon be ten, for not long after Tenielle’s big debut did a handsome Italian-American enter the room. No, not Salvatore; but rather the more successful sequel to him, Vinny. The other chefs greeted him with adoration like they had for most others, but Vinny did not respond with much of anything, his face focused with intent. He went to get his champagne drink as Sterling quietly commented on his approach. “I guess he’s not in a pizza perfect mood.”

(Confessional: An imaginary season)

Vinny: This is my second attempt on Hell’s Kitchen, I’m really excited for the opportunity to show Ramsay how far i’ve come as a chef and take the competition down one by one.

Vinny was one of the strongest members on his team during his season, consistently putting on solid performances for them during challenges and services and making sure his hair was gelled up and ready to go. Unfortunately, he would start losing steam late in the season and go out just before black jackets; he hoped that this second chance would be what he needed to show him that-

And then he got the memo.

Vinny: What’s that? (Pause) We...aren’t competing? (Pause, he then looks at the camera; slightly embarrassed) Well, that’s my plan down the drain…

(END CONF)

A few minutes had passed, lord knows when the other ten former contestants would be. Some hoped they knew them well, others hoped to meet someone few, but as for others? Well…Bobby had an idea,

“Alright, I got a question for some of you; who do you NOT want to be here tonight?” He asked to Johnny, Jackie, Tenielle and Vinnie.

“Matt.” Johnny answered the very second after Bobby finished that question. “Biggest piece of shit i’ve ever worked with.” Johnny knew him well. He was disrespectful, arrogant, showed very little respect to the judges who came here during head to head challenges and sometimes Ramsay and even threatened to walk out because he felt his team wasn’t getting the same level of respect as the ladies were.

“Oh, i’ve heard of him. Seems like a crock of shit.” Jackie smirked. Everyone nodded in approval. It was then Tenielle’s turn. “I mean, I don’t want to seem like i’m holding a grudge or anything, but I personally would not want to see Suzanne again.”

“Wasn’t she the bossy type?” Johnny asked, Tenielle looked at him as if he was fresh out of high school and already looking for a job. “That’s the nice way to put it.”

(Confessional: Old wounds might lead to new beginnings)

Tenielle: Suzanne had that smug attitude towards her, thought she knew everything there was to know about cooking, tried throwing people under the bus while being in denial over her own screw ups. No matter what happened, me and Suzanne just couldn’t get along.

It wasn’t that Suzanne was a BAD chef, quite the contrary; she was relatively capable inside and once she got into a certain groove, very few could stop her. (There was a reason she made black jackets after all.) Despite this, her leadership and her attitude were...less than desirable to say the least. That said, there was some sort of hope from Tenielle that maybe years away had cast a spell on her and improved her personally and professionally.

Tenielle: If she DOES come back, I just hope she learned something about humility.

(END CONF)

“Well, I don’t know about any of you; but if Kristen comes back, i’ll be rubbing my girl Ariel’s victory over her.” Jackie gloated, she was a part of Ariel’s team and was one of the big reasons her door opened. Out of everyone who despised Jackie, Kristen hated her the most. “But let’s be real, she’s probably working in some high frou, swanky ass restaurant somewhere in Las Vegas or something like that.”

“You think those three are bad?” Vinny shuddered. “Trust me, nothing can compare to the horror that was Russell.” Everyone winced. They knew the terrible deeds Russell had done during his time in Hell’s Kitchen. Despite being perhaps the best performer, his attitude was among the most toxic any contestant had ever obtained; being willing to suck up to the BOTW when he had a bad night and intimidate other contestants into getting what he wanted. Above all else, there were times when he threatened to get physical with other competitors and even today held the unfortunate distinction of being the only runner-up in Hell’s Kitchen history not to take their loss with stride.

(Confessional: We feel ya Vinny!)

Vinny: Russell was a grade A douchebag from the day he first walked into Hell’s Kitchen. And I have no doubt in my mind he’s still a ass- no sorry; Russhole. (smirks) See what I did there?

(END CONF)

The door opened, everyone waited in suspense to see who it was that would enter and join them. Would it be Kristen? Would it be Matt? Would it be Suzanne? Would it of all people, Russell? Thankfully for them, it was none of their former foes or enemies. But instead…

It was Sabrina, looking her absolute fanciest and wearing a big grin that reached all the way to her cheeks. “Hi guys!” She ran up to the other contestants and joined some of them near the champagne table. “Hey look, it’s one of my friends.” Vinny muttered to himself. Although he was glad that it wasn’t Russell, he wasn’t exactly happy to see Sabrina either.

(Confessional: The lesser of two horrible people)

Vinny: Sabrina was...Sabrina was something else.

Yes, Sabrina was something else. Though she had many good moments, even being named BOTW at one point in her time; she was on the chopping block almost every other night during her time in Hell’s Kitchen for above all other reasons: Being perhaps the most spoiled, selfish little brat the show had seen up to this point. You could forgive her for being 22 and simply not knowing much better back in the day, but other chefs around her age also compete on this show; and nine times out of ten they were never like her.

Vinny: Let’s just hope we’re on her good side and not her bad side.

(END CONF)

“Alright! Now we’ve got ourselves a party!” Sterling chirped as he welcomed Sabrina to the reunion of ten, now eleven. “Damn straight!” She smiled as they clinked their champagne glasses for a toast.

(Confessional: Another success story from the pits of hell)

Sabrina: I’ll be the first to admit, I was a bitch during my time. But when you’re young as me, you tend to be immature. Even now, i’m still a little quirky; I can still be more ghetto than the peeps in the hood if you mess with me, but Hell’s Kitchen taught me so much about working on a line and how to control my attitude; and i’m glad went through it.

(END CONF)

The next three chefs would wind up in a very unfortunate state, a state that many would consider worse than being just hated. Not being known who you are at all. Jen, despite being a black jacket and one of the first true personalities to ever step foot in Hell’s Kitchen was seen in this light. “How we all doing?” Jen asked, Johnny answered this by replying cooly with “We’d be fine if we knew who you were.”

Needless to say, Jen wasn’t happy with that statement.

(Confessional: Welcome back… you ungrateful bitch)

Jen: Man, that Johnny guy doesn’t seem to understand, I am a world class chef and a legend inside the kitchen. I even hung out with celebrities, I was that good. So for him to say that he didn’t know who I was, I can assume he was being a butt-head. But he’ll learn.

(END CONF)

And then there was Lacey of all people. “I don’t know this one either…” Johnny lamented to himself. “That’s the one who cried a lot.” Sara responded. Sara wasn’t far off from the truth, Lacey had among one of the worst attitudes ever witnessed inside Hell’s Kitchen and would break down and declare her withdrawal with the tiniest of incidents, not even a switch from the red team to the blue could improve her attitude and after self destructing on the meat station one service, she was thrown out of the playground completely.

Unlucky thirteen brought in a real old-school entrant, the mother of six turned professional chef Elsie. Unfortunately for her, she too was in the crossfire of being mostly unknown. “Ok, now they're just trolling us…” Elsie just smiled, “Don’t worry, I’m no troll!” But Johnny was not convinced and decided to see what she was really about for himself. “Then what season were you on?”

“Oh, I was on the very first one.” Elsie replied, gaining some attention from the others. “Hot damn girl!” Sara exclaimed. “So that makes you a part of Hell’s Kitchen history!” Elsie shrugged humbly and went to get her champagne drink. “I guess in a way I am.”

Yes, Elsie was a part of Hell’s Kitchen history; being a part of the first black jacket group in history and being the first BOTW the show had ever seen. She among all else was also the first underdog story the playground of Hell had ever seen as she had no professional experience before competing. This did not stop her from going the distance and ending in fourth place.

(CONF: That first expirence)

Elsie: Hell’s Kitchen was my first experience working in a restaurant, and I couldn’t be anymore grateful for it; it was because of Gordon Ramsay that I started investing in cooking full-time and it has changed the life of me and my family for the better; and I will never forget a single moment of it.”

Then for a little while, no more limos came up and thus, no new chefs. It was at that moment Johnny noticed something. “Y’know there’s not much 16 in this place.” It wasn’t meant to be a complaint or him venting, but he had to admit; he was getting kind of lonely being the sole recipient for that season.

“You think that’s bad, some seasons don’t even have a participant.” Anton said. “I take it Jon isn’t coming then?” Johnny asked. “I’m just waiting to see if someone from seven is coming. Maybe that Benjamin goofball who kept speaking French” Vinny entered his thoughts in the conversation. “I’m pretty sure chefs can’t come back a third time.” Jackie said. It was sad, but true.

The doorknob turned, at last! A new competitor had arrived, everyone waited to see who it was. The door slowly opened, the suspense was killing everyone and everything and then…

We went to a commercial break.

Too bad we can’t actually show you what commercials were playing, but I guess that would be kind of boring. Shame really, us spirits do love a good car commercial every once in awhile. (What we spirits do not understand is why car manufactures love increasing the number of their cars every time the Earth gets a new ‘year’)

Ok, commercials are over.

As we were saying: The doorknob turned, at last! A new competitor had arrived, everyone waited to see who it was. The door slowly opened, the suspense was killing everyone and everything and then…

The person revealed itself. It was Bryant. And wouldn’t you know it? Sterling went insane with happiness and started shouting some of the most joyful nonsense you’d ever hear as he ran up to him. “Come here my brother!” He yelled and the two had a nice embrace. “I take it you know him.” Anton smirked, “Damn straight I do, that’s one from my season, Mr. Hothead Bryant!” Sterling proudly introduced him to the others. “Just be careful with him now, he’s a runner-up!”

Bryant was indeed a runner-up and a force to be reckoned with, boasting phenomenal skills and usually being the best player for his team outside from a few certain moments. Keyword being a few. His temper also matched up with his skill and he would occasionally get into arguments with people on his team. He would learn how to control that anger into passion and it drove him all the way to the final: Sadly, one of the worst performances in finale history by Frank (a completely different Frank than season 15’s) cost him dearly. Regardless, he was welcomed with open arms from everyone inside.

(Confessional: It still hurts!)

Bryant: (Humble) Not a day goes by where I think about how I couldn’t win Hell’s Kitchen, it still hurts me to this day really; but at the same time, it’s driven me to be a better chef than I ever was before and for that, I am grateful.

(END CONF)

“How’s about a toast to the man who nearly won it all?” Sterling called raising what was left of his drink up in the air. Everyone agreed with the notion and drank in honor of the man with the volcanic temper and the skills to back it up.

Back outside, the fifteenth limo emerged. Or was it the fourteenth? At this point, us spirits lost count. Whatever numbered limo it was had a somewhat different mood from the others, a feeling of sheer nervousness. Suzanne took a few several deep breaths as she saw the big H and K next to the fork (Devil’s fork we call it) to calm her increasingly rapid heartbeat.

(Confessional: La confliction de la emoción!)

Suzanne: I’m not really sure how I should feel about coming back...On the one hand, it’s cool that Chef Ramsay sees me as an important part of Hell’s Kitchen history or something like that; but on the other hand: I do not have a good reputation there. At all...

Well, at least she wasn’t an Elise or a Gina, those people are real stinkers.

Suzanne: But you know, the past is in the past, we’re older now; and you know, I just came here to have a good time. That’s all.

(END CONF)

“Alright…” She said quietly to herself as she got out of her seat and was escorted by the usher. “Round two.” This was it. It was go time. And she entered in where the others were and forced out a small grin onto her. “Hey guys.” She hoped someone would at least notice. “Welcome to the U.S.S Hell” Johnny quipped, “Grab yourself a glass and settle down with us as we wait for more former contestants we don’t know but might soon!” Suzanne grinned, it looked as if everything would be just fine…

And then her grin evaporated when she noticed her fellow season six-er and biggest nemesis during her time on the red team; Tenielle. “Oh shit…” She mouthed in silence as she cocked her head silently in her drink.

(Confessional: Two rivals going at it like old times)

Suzanne: (Nervous glance) The absolute last person I was hoping to see...and she’s here. (Places her hands over her head and looks directly in the camera) Fuck.

She stared at her once long time foe who gave a slight glare back. The other chefs simply watched in concern as they realized what was going on. “Oh boy,” Jackie chuckled. “Are we about to have ourselves a catfight?”

Tenielle: Y’all might wanna stand back cause...this could get explosive. Real quick.

(END CONF)

Finally, Suzanne decided to muster up the courage to go up to her enemy and confront her. It seemed like this season would break the record for having the first conflict of the season. Perhaps now, things would ‘go down’. “Hey Tenielle.” Suzanne spoke to her, the others watched and had a feeling that maybe, just maybe; all hell was about to break loose. Yet the funny thing about these shows is that they tend to lean towards one thing, when really they actually lead towards another…

And this proved to be yet another case as what would happen later doused any chance of Suzanne and Tenielle having anywhere near as classic a feud as they did last time. “So um...how have you been?” She asked Tenielle. “Good. You?” Tenielle replied nonchalantly. “Oh you know...busy...with...life and, all that sort of stuff.” Suzanne said in a rather awkward fashion.

(Confessional: See? Someone DID learning from their past mistakes!)

Suzanne: Grudges are something I don’t really like holding, because really? What’s the point? Just because you did some shit to another person or vice-versa doesn’t mean you have to constantly remind them about it.

(END CONF)

“That’s your rival?” Rochelle quietly asked Tenielle once Suzanne had gone to talk to someone else. “She seems pretty nice to me.” But there was only one thing Tenielle had to say to her. “Just you wait, the claws will come out eventually.” ...Well, it wasn’t like us spirits said that there was no chance of their feud coming back to life.

Three more people come in, bringing the total ever closer to twenty. Roshni would be next up to enter to the tune of absolutely no one but Sterling and Rochelle really caring. Roshni never really did find her rhythm in Hell’s Kitchen, not even a trip to the blue kitchen could save her from being mediocre despite a big heart. But she didn’t care, she was here, and here to stay.

And then there was Josh. No, not Season 14’s Josh; he’s probably out doing another one of his other eight hundred vigintillion jobs outside of catering, Season 3’s Josh. “Oh here we go!” Bobby proclaimed as Josh entered the room. “How’s Ramsay’s favorite donkey doing on this fine day?” Johnny smiled. Josh smiled as he high fived Sterling and Hassan. “Hey, if I ever want to film someone making love to food; i’m calling you!” Anton replied. “Will be glad to be of help.” Josh answered back in a sheepish matter. Needless to say, Josh was a popular boy for all the wrong reasons.

(Confessional: Josh...just Josh)

Josh: (confused) I’ll be honest; I don’t know why Ramsay called me here. I mean, I get WHY Ramsay called me here, but I don’t know WHY Ramsay called me here. I mean, it’s not like I was really that amazing or anything.

Josh had a point. Josh wasn’t amazing. In fact, most nights; he was pretty terrible. But to his defense, he never stopped trying and he kept going until service came to an end. Even so, he would wind up making Hell’s Kitchen history as being the first person to ever be taken out of the game in the middle of a service; to make matters worse, he did it as a member of the black jackets.

Josh: (humble) But hey, i’m not complaining. As long as I get to spend some time with other people, i’m game.

At least he didn’t lose his spirits…

Our apologies to other spirits for offending you.

(END CONF)

Back outside to reveal yet one more limo come in where another surprise was waiting for us all in the form of Bret. Bret, the man who looked poised to be a threat to the competition and a strong asset to his team; but was ultimately brought down from a slipped disk dropped out of the limo and was welcomed by the usher once his limo came to a stop. “Thank you madame.” He spoke and he walked into the doors of hell.

(Confessional: I expect big things out of him!)

Bret: The last time I was inside Hell’s Kitchen, I slipped a disk in my neck and forced myself out of the competition, not exactly the most graceful way to go; but such is life. In the four years since, my neck has gotten better and i’ve been doing some catering jobs across Florida and making a good name for myself.

(END CONF)

“Good evening everyone.” Bret said in a formal manner as some of the other chefs came up towards him to share their sympathy towards him. “Hey man, I know a guy who went through the same fate you did.” Sterling said, the most reserved he had been all day. “Trust me, I know what it’s like to fuck your neck up; it is not fun.” Hassan admitted. “You’re the man Bret!” Jen gushed. Bret could only smile and bask in the respect given to him.

As the adoration and love died down, everyone realized something. There was still one person that had yet to arrive. “Hey, isn’t there supposed to be like; twenty people or something?” Anton asked. “I wonder who else they could get?” Roshni added on to the question. “Whoever it is, it must be really big to have taken this long to get here.” Josh assumed. And then, the door opened for the twentieth and final time tonight; and like with the other nineteen, everyone watched to see who it was that would round up the group. The air was silent, the feeling was tense, who could it be? Who could it be?

“Oh shit.”

That’s right, the one person no one wanted to see; Russell had arrived just in the nick of time. Everyone looked on in sheer horror at being in the presence of perhaps the most despised contestant ever to step foot through Ramsay’s playground. But he didn’t care, it was natural for him not to; because he knew that he was better than everyone one of them combined.

(Confessional: The ultimate scrappy)

Russell: I’m ba-ack!

(END CONF)  
“How are we all doing tonight?” Russell asked as everyone looked at him like he was a distant foreign stranger, everyone that is; except for two. Johnny came up to him and extended his hand. “Name’s Johnny.” Russell looked at his hand and shook it three times before walking away from him. “Freaking weirdo…” Russell commented quietly as he got the last drink. Johnny just looked at his hand and smiled.

(Confessional: Another one off the bucket list)

Johnny: It’s not every day that you get to meet the most despised contestant in Hell’s Kitchen history, so yeah; i’ll shake the guy’s hand. Have no regrets about it at all.

(END CONF)

And then there was Sabrina who came up to her and gave her a nice, warm embrace. “Hi Russell!” She squealed as she held on tightly to his entire body frame. “Alright now, let’s not start making out with people until after the party.” Suzanne cautioned, Sabrina folded her arms and scoffed. “Girl, you’re no fun.” She said in a jokingly pouty manner. Suzanne just shook her head.

(Confessional: Smug-a-Dug Snake)

Suzanne: It’s official. I’m surrounded by circus clowns...again. Ok, that’s not fair; some of them seem like they know what they’re doing, but others...yeah.

(END CONF)

And so it was, twenty of Hell’s Kitchen’s most controversial; be it for good or for bad were all gathered in that room there, waiting for the moment when Chef Ramsay would call them over to the dining hall so they could celebrate the history and achievements Hell’s Kitchen had racked up o’er the many years. They would not have to wait long as outside, a bigger crowd had gathered.

Foodies, press, fans, patrons, people from all across L.A had come to this very spot to celebrate the life and existence of Hell’s Kitchen; they had already been excited up to this point, having wanted to see their idol and culinary legend Gordon Ramsay at his most eloquent and sophisticated. Once Marino had come out, everyone knew what was to come next. “Ladies and gentlemen…” He announced. “Please welcome, Chef Gordon Ramsay!”

At last. Gordon Ramsay entered from the top of the restaurant where his office was down the stairs like a mighty warrior returning home after another glorious victory for him and his army; and as he did, he was greeted mercilessly by those who respected him, learned from him, wanted to be with him and even some who wished to be him. With a gallant smile, he thanked Marino and was handed the microphone. He would take this time to greet the loving audience of plenty to this the ‘first ever Hell’s Kitchen reunion’ and introduced them to Season 10’s winner, Christina Wilson and the sous chef making his sophomore appearance, Jamie ‘Jockey’ Petre. They too received an excellent reception, but neither to the heights Mr. Ramsay received.

“Now, before we go any further; I understand that we have some very special guests as well,” Ramsay said, addressing some special business. “They’re not just special to me, but they’ve been special in making what Hell’s Kitchen is today!” Obviously referring to the twenty poor sap- we mean, excellent chefs (and Josh) that had come all the way just to take part; curious, Ramsay looked at the audience and asked them. “Would you like to meet them?” The answer: to no one’s shock, a resounding yes.

“Representing the red team,” He started, “Please welcome back…”

“Sabrina!”

Sabrina skipped to her table first, waving excitedly at some of the cheering audience members.

“Tennille!”

“Let’s do this baby!” Tennille called out, delivering a large response to the audience and slapping some hands.

“Roshni!”

Roshni simply smiled and like a high-school kid on graduation day silently and eloquently sauntered her way to the first table where Sabrina and Tennille were.

“Suzanne!”

Taking a most calm approach, she gave her best smile and shook some hands along the way.

(CONF: But inside, you could tell she was nervous!)

Suzanne: (CONF) I see all of those people, they’re cheering, applauding, calling my name like I was some sort of god to them...and i’m not really sure how I feel about it…

Seriously? Us spirits paid some of these fools money to be here, the least you could do is be grateful people remember your existence.

(END CONF)

“Rochelle!”

Rochelle tried her damndest not to break down into giggles as she high-fived some members of the audience.

“On Table 2 to your right, please welcome back Jen!”

Jen came out squealing and hopping her way to her table, “That’s right!” She cried out in pride. “You’re looking at a Hell’s Kitchen legend over here!”

(CONF: I take it they’re NOT butt-heads then?)

Jen: You see all those people cheering me? They think i’m a legend, I bet you five bucks some of them think i’m the best chef there ever was. It’s things like this that warm up your heart and fill your soul with good vibrations.

(END CONF)

“Elsie!”

Elsie took a more reserved approach and shook some hands along the way.

“Sara!”

Sara jogged her way to the table, not even acknowledging the audience of people.

“Lacey!”

Lacey gave a meek smile and nodded her seal of approval to some of the folks watching.

“And finally, Jackie!”

“BOOM!’ Jackie called out, giving out her usual New Jersian swagger. “THIS IS HOW WE ROLL IN HELL!”  Jackie shouted to the camera as she stopped and took the time to bask in the adoration of the fans watching.

(CONF: A God You Are)

Jackie: (Cocky) Yeah...I know...I’m awesome. (Smug smirk)

(END CONF)

With all of the ladies seated, it was time to move on to the men!

“Representing team blue, please welcome back…”  
“Anton!”

Anton nodded his head and shook hands with some of the folks as he headed towards table 3.

“Vinny!”

Vinny smirked as he took a good look at the audience. “Now these people have good taste!” He commented, giving his good word to the atmosphere.

“Bobby!”

Bobby slapped some hands as he marched with purpose to his table. “Four star general time!” He declared as he did.

“Hell’s Kitchen 8 runner-up, Russell!”

In a complete inverse of everyone else, Russell was greeted with a smattering of boos. But he didn’t care, he just gave a confident smile and shrugged it off. “Runner-up cred son!” He said to one particular heckler.

(CONF: He doesn’t care, does he?)

Russell: All those people, they like to think that i’m just a bunch of hot shit. Well fuck ‘em, they didn’t make it to the final two now did they?

(END CONF)

“Hassan!”

Hassan shook many a hand and thanked them for coming as he made the long trip to table 3.

Five down, five more to the other side where table 4 sat.

“Also returning, Johnny!”

“Yeah baby!” Johnny yelled as he extended his hands, feeling the love from all those watching.

“We’re gonna have some fun tonight!”

“Mr. 100 himself, Sterling!”

“Alright, alright!” Sterling announced as he hustled his way to table 4, slapping the hands of many people (some of which being adoring fans of Sterling’s) “It’s time to crank this up to a hundred percent!” He smiled as he said that line.  
“Bret!”

Bret civilly shook hands and asked some how they were doing this fine evening.

(CONF: The love of the people)

Bret: Hearing all those people, chanting my name; it made me feel good inside, knowing that all my hard work did not go to waste.

(END CONF)

“The greatest donkey in Hell’s Kitchen history, Josh!”

Josh smiled and shrugged, being a good sport in spite of some laughter directed towards him. He knew this was all in good fun.

“And last but not least, Hell’s Kitchen 13 runner-up, Bryant!”

Bryant gave a SMALL smile and nodded his head along to Table 4 where he joined nineteen other chefs, ready to celebrate the glory of Hell’s Kitchen.

And now friends, it was time for great master Ramsay to give his big speech. We had worked on it long and hard throughout the weeks leading up to the big moment, and now; it was finally time. “In the seventeen seasons Hell’s Kitchen has been around, there have been many outstanding moments. From the day Hell’s Kitchen first started, anything and everything that could have happened inside this restaurant has happened.”

“For instance, does anyone remember the time I told Josh to fuck off and took his jacket?”

Josh was given a friendly pat on the back by Sterling and continued to smile. “A whole trend started because of me!” Josh proclaimed, drawing more amusement from all parties.

“And what about the time I puked over Antonia’s ‘Mardi Gras’ gumbo?”

Sabrina fondly remembered it, given the cringe she had on her face.

(CONF: Nasty lady!)

Sabrina: (Grossed out)  I don’t know what she was thinking making it, but it was probably the worst thing i’d tasted up to this point. Kind of makes me happy she had a migraine and left, pretty sure she would’ve killed a few people. (Shudders)

(END CONF)

“And who could forget about the time Joseph threatened to ‘take it to the streets’?”

The crowd ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ when they heard about Joseph and how his volatile temper all but took him out of the game.

(CONF: Tenille found a second job after cooking)

Tenille: Joseph was a loose cannon cop from outta Gotham City! He was so nutty in the head, the guy tried to fight Gordon Ramsay, I still tell people about it!

(END CONF)

“And of course, the immense number of chefs i’ve had to tell to take off their jackets and the seventeen that stood over all of them.”

They remembered. Seventeen men and women had done what they could not do, outlast the competition and made their dreams into a reality.

(CONF: Needless to say, someone was not happy being reminded of it)

Russell: I’m still pissed over losing to Nona, I had the better team over her’s and they still fucked me over. They’re lucky I rebounded afterwards, or they’d all be fucked. Especially Vinny.

(END CONF)

“From the immeasurable amount of services, to all the arguments, the drama, the blood, the pain and even the most bizarre...whatever they were; Hell’s Kitchen has done it all.” Hell’s Kitchen’s legacy had always been it’s greatest asset. The mystique, charm and unpredictability of Great Master Ramsay’s creation had always been a marvel to the viewing public, especially those who were in the know of shows focusing on the ‘real’ side of life and culinary critics and wanna-be chefs. It had been that way for twelve years and seventeen seasons, why would now make it any different?

“But that is all in the past. This season,” Ramsay proclaimed. “Hell’s Kitchen will be tackling something it has never faced before.” Go time it was as Ramsay began to hype up what was once shadowed in mystery as the ‘dream season’. “This is the one thing Hell’s Kitchen has never accomplished in the seventeen years it has been around, and so; I expect this season to be the biggest we’ve ever had. I’d dare say that this could go down as the ‘dream season’.”

Everyone watched in anticipation and suspense as they pondered what Ramsay had cooked up for this, the eighteenth and perhaps greatest season Hell’s Kitchen had to offer. But some...well, let’s say they had their doubts.

(CONF: It’s a trap!)

Hassan: (Suspicious) Dream season? Never accomplished? Something’s up with this…

(END CONF)

“As you all know, we usually divide the teams between men and ladies. Well this year, we are bucking that tradition!” Ramsay declared as the long standing status quo between male versus female, boy versus girl, man versus woman null and void; Elsie only had to smile at that, feeling that it was a nod towards her personally, competing in the first and until now the only season that had co-ed teams from the very beginning.

“For the first time ever, we are dividing the teams between heroes...and villains!” Ramsay announced, giving a grin that read the makings of a truly proud creator. The crowd chattered with excitement and curiosity. Heroes versus villains? How would this work? How could Ramsay change the game like this? What did this mean for the contestants? WHO would be competing?

(Confessionals: Some are certainly excited!)

Johnny: (Stunned) Heroes versus Villains?! Now we’re talking! The only other show I know that pulled this shit off was Survivor, and if anyone else can do it; it’s Gordon Ramsay!

“In doing so,” Chef Ramsay explained his rationale, “I have decided to bring back twenty of the most beloved and despised chefs Hell’s Kitchen has ever seen. They are some of the most spontaneous, controversial and exciting personalities i’ve worked with.”

Bobby: And i’m wondering, who did Chef Ramsay get for this? They’d have to be pretty good to earn this opportunity a second time!

(END CONFS)

“Would you like to meet them?” Ramsay asked, the crowd shouted their approval. “Alright then. Here they are!” Ramsay extended his left arm as to introduce the twenty chefs who would once again be competing for a chance to become a masterchef under Ramsay’s tutelage and volatile temper, and for a while; all was still. For the few seconds that were, nothing happened...  


...And then, as sudden as the silence was, Ramsay slowly put his arm away and the lights went out. Everyone was confused, what was happening with Chef Ramsay? Had he finally lost his mind, or had he simply forgot to pay the electric bill again? Once more there was a sense of nothingness that filled the dining hall as everyone wondered what it was that was going on…

Without warning, one giant light would then shine through not one; not two, not three but all four tables. The four tables that the so-called ‘guests’ were sitting in. When the crowd realized what had happened, they were more bezerk than a toddler after receiving their daily dose of sugar coated treats (also known to you humans as candy) on the day of Christmas.

This was met with severe confusion from some, “Uh, what the fuck?!” Suzanne asked; looking baffled at the blinding light that had now invaded their area. “I have a feeling someone’s been playing us!” Anton began to realize the horrifying truth.

(Confessional: It’s on now)

Jackie: Then the lights went on all of the tables and I was asking myself; oh shit. Is this really happening right now?!

(END CONF)

Everyone turned over to Chef Ramsay, who simply stared back; giving the biggest joker face anyone had seen. This was his kitchen, and thus he made up the rules; and just as soon as you thought all the questions had been answered, well; that’s when Chef Ramsay changed everything. He nodded and then went back on the microphone to confirm what many others had felt. “That’s right, you didn’t actually think you were back just to watch did you?” Ramsay questioned the twenty chefs. “The REAL reason you’re here is simple...All twenty of you have been selected to come back and play a new round of Hell’s Kitchen.”

(Confessionals: Mixed reactions all around)

Hassan: I knew it! I knew Chef Ramsay had something planned for us!

Hassan knew something was up the very moment Ramsay brought up the new season, but even so; there were others that still could not pick up the pieces.

Josh: Wait, us? Compete? Now?! I didn’t even bring a pair of knives with me, how do you expect me to cook without knives?!

Still more could not believe that they had been thrust into a new game with Chef Ramsay and were not pleased with this situation.

Suzanne: (annoyed) Is this a joke? Like, seriously; am I being punked right now?

But a few decided to just roll with it.

Russell: (confident) Hell yeah. A chance to rewrite history? Doesn’t matter how it happens, i’m going to finally get my win back and no one is going to get in my way.

(END CONFS)

The announcement of the cast was shocking enough, but then came the prize. “In addition to such a historic cast, i’ve decided to do something historic for this year’s prize. The winner of Hell’s Kitchen: Heroes vs Villains will be receiving a full-time job working at my organization at the Gordon Ramsay Group in London!” This would be a ginormous prize. Every chef and their mother had always dreamt of going to work for Chef Ramsay, and now twenty veterans of the game of Hell had the chance of a lifetime. “With my backing, they will be creating a brand new restaurant off the strip of Las Vegas, Nevada!”

(Confessional: Now you’re excited?)

Josh: And then I heard about the prize, and i’m already thinking ‘Food-gasm!’ Because food is like sex and good food equals good sex.

(END CONF)

“This comes of course with a budget of a quarter of a million-” Then he stopped and backpedaled. “No, no...This prize is too majestic for something like that. It needs something truly remarkable, something like…” He thought for a few milliseconds on what this second prize would be, and then; he got the perfect response. “...A budget of one...million...dollars.”

That roped them in. If they weren’t interested already, they were now. A chance to work with Gordon Ramsay to open their dream restaurant at the hottest entertainment capital in all of America with a million dollar budget all for them to use? That was the dream come true for them. And damn it, they weren’t going to waste it. “Don’t stare at me like you’ve shat yourself!” Ramsay warned the twenty competitors staring at him. “It’s time for you to get in there and cook your signature dishes!”

And so it was, a new year of hell had officially begun. And this year was not to be like any of the other years, oh no; this year was going to be a year that would forever change the meaning of hell, as long as Grand Master Ramsay had stuck to the plans we had gone over countless times; this ‘dream season’ was to be a dream come true for all. Spirits, chefs and person alike would rejoice when the twenty veterans went into combat once again, not all of them the same person they were when we saw them last. Some had taken Ramsay’s words to heart and bettered themselves not just as a person but as a chef themselves, others on the contrary had actually taken a turn for the worse since leaving; having grown a big head o’er the fifteen seconds of fame they once had. And a few? Well, let’s just say they hadn’t changed a bit.

It was simply, a case of destiny.

Chapter 1: Act III- The Competition Holds Onto The Bar

As the minutes passed on and the audience dwindled away, Ramsay scrambled to put all the contestants back to where they were all those years (be it few or many) and settled them down to his level and explained to them what was to happen. The twenty chefs were to be divided into two teams of ten, blue and red respectively. But this year, they were to be divided not because of gender; but because of their past actions and likability.

He would then name which chefs would go on which team. "Elsie, Josh, Bobby, Tenielle, Vinny, Roshni, Rochelle, Sterling, Bret, Hassan; you're the heroes team." And just as soon as he mentioned that, Sterling made a heroic pose that got everyone laughing.

(Confessionals: All hail the heroes!)

Rochelle: Being considered so beloved that people think of you as a hero, it's almost like a badge of honor. A badge i'm going to wear proudly.

Technically, she was right. This was a badge of honor that every member on that team should wear proudly...but not everyone thought of it as such.

Vinny: So does that mean i'm supposed to be this goody-two shoes know it all that never does anything wrong and everyone loves? Yeah, I don't think so. But hey, blue team, red team, whatever team i'm in. I'm gonna do my part for them and when the time comes, bite their heads off and be the last one standing.

(END CONF)

"As for the rest of you," Ramsay turned his attention to the red kitchen inhabitants. "Sara, Jen, Suzanne, Sabrina, Russell, Anton, Bryant, Jackie and Johnny, you're the villains team. Meaning you will be wearing all red, all the time."

(Confessionals: This...was much less well-received)

Johnny: (disappointed) Seriously? I'm wearing a red jacket? Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate the color red; not at all! But being honest: Start strong, finish strong, go red team doesn't really have the same ring as 'Start strong, finish strong, go blue team' does it?

Whilst Johnny was more bummed about no longer being able to say his beloved team's motto, Anton went a step further and went like a birther back in 2011 about his newfound status.

Anton: (in denial) And he tells me that i'm a villain, and i'm asking myself; what did I do that was so bad that it makes me a villain? Anyone want to answer that?

“Now, I bet you’re all excited to be back inside this kitchen…” Ramsay explained. “Yes, yes we are.” Russell nodded, looking to win over some brownie points much to the shegrin of others. “Well then, I’m expecting some of you to really perform to tonight and others nights.” Ramsay responded.

He then proceeded to ask the other contestants what they had in mind for their signature dish. “I’m going all Italian, pizza with the finest Italian ingredients and garlic. It shall be known as Pizza de L’Anton!” Anton proudly announced. “It sounds delicious!” Gordon smirked. “I’ll probably try and do that risotto I made last time again.” Suzanne suggested, “What, you mean the undercooked school chalk?” Bobby asked, that delivered a few ‘oohs’ from his team. Suzanne just sneered and gave her absolute most smug expression. “At least I don’t fry my fish in a deep pan of grease.” Leaving the red team in stitches and giving Bobby a look of intrigue and humiliation. Just moments before the contestants had begun making their signature dish and already the teams were trading jabs.

(Confessionals: The war hath begun!)

Suzanne: (Calm) You want me to take you down? I’ll be happy to kick your ass. Doesn’t matter where we are or who you are, you get in a cooking match with me; I will be the one with my hand raised in victory.

Bobby shook her head and mouthed something to his team. "Looks like we have a bit of sass coming from the opposition!"

Bobby: This little girl, she thinks she knows how things work around here; but what she doesn’t realize is that i’m a four star general, I have loads of experience. So if we get into a war, then you better be saying some prayers because I’ll send you on a one way trip to hell.

(END CONFS)

With an early bit of fun out of the way and more ideas for signature dishes processed to him, Ramsay began to speak once again. “All of these dishes sound delicious, and for a season like this, I expect all of you to step it up a level.” He reminded them of the stakes that were placed on them. “And that’s why...these will NOT be the dishes you will be making!” And back to confusion once again. After a couple seconds ran through and crossed the minds of the chefs, Grand Master Ramsay spoke once more. “As this is a dream season, I believe it’s only fitting that the twenty of you test yourself in a level you’ve never been tested at before.”

“This year, you will be making a signature dish based on the ten core products every chef at one point or another has used for their recipes.” He then guided the twenty chefs’ eyes to twenty plates and twenty domes holding them captive until they were ready. Inside those domes were the ten main factors of every dish. Scallops, halibut, chicken, porkchop, lobster, duck, salmon, beef, fillet and lamb; whatever it was, that would be their starting base. Going forward, each chef would have forty five minutes to create whatever they possibly could with the product chosen to them. “So if you’re ready...open your domes!” And just like that, every dome was lifted; each chef hoping what they would get would be beneficial to their talents and more importantly, their dish…

And so the battle lines were to be drawn.

Representing the battle of the scallop would be Roshni and Sara, both expressing their excitement in cooking such a challenging dish.

Bobby would go up against Johnny in the round for the halibut, a move that pleased Bobby; but not Johnny. “God damn it…” He muttered silently to himself.

(Confessional: Fishing up a creek with no pole)

Johnny: Fish was what got me kicked off last time, and I sure as hell haven’t gotten any better at it now! I’m in trouble.

(END CONF)

Elsie and Anton would give chicken the chance it needed, both feeling confident on what they could do for such an impressive cut of bird.

Porkchops bought Vinny and Bryant a ticket to show Chef Ramsay what they were made of, both being their strongest when it came to the meat station.

Locking up with lobster were Hassan and Suzanne, both already coming up with ideas on where they could take the dish.

(Confessional: Hassan wanted to be a magician when he grew up)

Hassan: And I see the lobster, and i’m already thinking; what can I do to stand out from the others?  
(END CONF)

Tenielle and Russell would duke it out in the duel of ducks, Sterling and Jackie were to slip with the salmon, Bret and Sabrina would brawl over the beef, Rochelle and Jen would fight to the death for filet and Josh and Lacey would lace up their shoes and face the lamb.

“You all have forty-five minutes, and it begins...NOW!” And just like that, they were off; like a herd of stampeding bulls roaming free in the wild, they all rushed to get the supplies needed to make the perfect signature dish. “I’m coming for you mama!” Jen screeched, looking for the jar of rosemary, Anton would be seen inspecting a jar of Salmoriglio sauce; nodding, impressed with the taste. “That’s money right there.”

(Confessionals: Time to get your game faces on!)

Anton: It’s time, no more waiting around; you gotta get out there and do what you were born to do. Of course, if you’re like me, you like to choose your ingredients wisely...

Anton had a strategy for making sure he had the perfect dish for Ramsay, he would inspect each and every ingredient he could find; making sure that it was the perfect one for his signature dish. “No, no...eggplant won’t do…”

Anton: (voice-over) ...Because one wrong move and your entire dish is going down in flames.

“Cauliflower? A little too basic.” Anton kept looking and looking until... “Rutabaga, NOW we’re talking!”

Anton: And that’s why i’m the best chef in Hell’s Kitchen.

Half an hour gone, it was time to start cooking; Tenielle knew what that feeling was like as she began to prepare the mac and cheese. As she did, Gordon came on by to see what it was she was planning, “I’m doing a uh, Seared and braised duck; I have my duck cooking; it should be ready to go in a few minutes once the shrimp and mac and cheese ready, and i’m planning on a ginger seasoning to give it that extra spice.”

“It sounds delicious!” Ramsay gave his approval and headed off to check on someone else.

Tenielle: It’s that time, you gotta show up and give Chef Ramsay your all! You can’t dish it? Get on outta here and leave the real work to the professionals.

While some were excited with the prospect of getting back in the swing of things, others were...well, less than enthusiastic. Suzanne slowly carried her lobster as she was going over the dish she was planning. “Let’s see, zucchini, onion and chives and then…”

“Outta my way, I got watch my chop!” Bryant warned as he ran towards his stove, nearing knocking Suzanne off and causing her to nearly drop her lobster. “God! Some people don’t know the meaning of watching their step…” Suzanne muttered to herself.

Suzanne: (annoyed) Look, i’m already pissed as it is. I did NOT want to be here competing again, and trying to bump into me and nearly make me drop my shit isn’t making my day any better.

(END CONFS)

Ten second warning, here we go. Everything that had to be plated, had to be plated and quick. All the final touches were made as Ramsay counted down the seconds and all the signature dishes were settled down on their respective plates. “5...4...3...2...1, and stop!” Time was up.

“I’ll be giving you a score from one to five, five being immaculate and one; well, hopefully no one gets a one.” Ramsay scoured through the lineup, looking to see who would start things off. “Let’s start with the battle of the scallop, Roshni and Sara; step forward.” The eighteenth annual signature dish challenge began with Roshni and Sara prepared to show Chef Ramsay what they could do.

(Confessional: Good luck with that)

Roshni: I’m extremely happy with how my dish turned out, I want to show Chef Ramsay how far i’ve come as a chef and I believe this is going to be what cements me as a force to be reckoned with.

(END CONF)

“Holy fuck.” Ramsay pondered, looking at Roshni’s dish. “And what have we made?”

“Pan seared scallops with some basil seasoning and a bit of cherry puree” Roshni answered. Ramsay had to stop and do a doubletake. “Cherry puree?” Roshni clarified the type of puree. “Well that’s a relief, because for a while it looked you had bled on the poor thing.” Snickers were shared, but he had a point; the dish didn’t exactly look too appetizing. But look was one thing, how did it taste? Grand Master Ramsay took one bite of the scallop…

And then spit it back out. “Scallops, boiled to hell. Basil, looking miserable and the puree is enough to give me a cavity. Pathetic. One out of five.” The blue team winced and Roshni sadly nodded and took her loss like a woman.

(Confessional: The worst foot to start off one is the wrong one)

Tenielle: Roshni! What the hell?! You’ve only been here a few minutes, you’re already sinking our ship!

(END CONF)

“Not a good start,” Ramsay warned the blue team. He then turned his attention to Sara, “So Sara; if there was one thing you honestly felt about your competition, what would it be?”

“Domination.” Sara answered.

(Confessional: We’ll take her word on it)

Sara: I’m not the same chef people saw back in Season 2, i’ve done catering all across the world and along the way i’ve come far as a chef and as a person; so if you’re hoping that I will lie and cheat my way a second time through, you’re about to kiss my grits.

(END CONF)

Domination was all she hoped for when Ramsay tasted her southern fried scallops with a side of shrimp and grits. “Shrimp and grits, cooked beautifully.” Ramsay noted. “But using all that oil just to make scallops, guess what that makes it?” Sara knew exactly what that meant, when a scallop slipped and slid on the plate like that; it only meant one thing… “It’s greasy”

“You’re lucky that it was seared nicely, because otherwise; I would have also given you a one. As it stands...i’ll settle for a three.” Sara nodded as her team clapped, it may not have been the prettiest dish; but at least it gave her team the head start.

(Confessional: Every little bit)

Sara: Hey, every little bit helps. If I want to be dominant, i’ll be dominant on my day.

(END CONF)

The second round would be Bobby vs Johnny in a tale of two different chefs; Bobby was one of the better chefs in his season and always seemed to be at his best on the fish station. Johnny had his moments of brilliance himself, but when he screwed up; it was bad news. It did not help that fish was bar none, his weakest station. Thankfully for him, it was not his turn yet, and Bobby presented Ramsay with a seared halibut with polenta cake and a hint of white wine. “Halibut cooked beautifully,” Ramsay commented, taking a bite from the halibut. “Could have gone with a little less white wine, but overall; a very strong and clean effort. I’d say that’s a four. Nice job.”

“Thank you chef.” Bobby smiled as he railed his team back on track.

“Okay, Johnny.” Ramsay took a deep look at Johnny’s entire body and noticed that something from him was missing. And if something was missing, Ramsay would be happy to call it out; even if it wasn’t food. (That’s why he is such a master and we are all his slave- we mean puppet- we mean, oh you know what we mean) “Where the fuck did your hair go?

Johnny looked at his head and gave an honest response. “Cut most of it off.”

(Confessional: Bet you're regretting now, aren’t you?)

Johnny: Sometime after the show ended, I cut my hair and started to go with a different style. It was hard (getting slightly choked up), but I had to be strong and hold my head up high as I watched my locks drift away…(sniff) Man, I miss those locks…(uses his shirt as a tissue as tears begin to well up around his eyes)

(END CONF)

“Right, and the halibut?”

“Well I seared the halibut, something I SHOULD have done to a bass some time back…” Nice to bring some shade on yourself Johnny. “And then I made a calamari salad and cut some strips of kale to put on the salad.”

“Can we assume that you didn’t go vegan after your season?” Ramsay asked, surprised that Johnny didn’t go with any meat products considering his reputation as a burger chef. “No chef.” Johnny chuckled. Ramsay went into his dish and gave his output. “Halibut, nice sear. Calamari is delicious. It’s a unique, out of the box dish. Good job, four.” Boom. Four points. And on the one thing Johnny claimed to be the worst at. For that alone, Johnny was victorious.

Round three, time for the champions with chicken between Season 1’s Elsie and Season 12’s Anton. Elsie presented Chef Ramsay with a baked chicken with risotto alla zucca as a side. “Chicken cooked perfectly, risotto nailed.” Elsie had once again proven Chef Ramsay her undeniable talents. “Someone your age needs to show an example to some of the younger chefs, I think you may have done it.” Elsie smiled, her dish was a success. “That’s a very strong four, well done.”

But enough about Elsie, being the first of many underdogs to come their way would mean nothing compared to the awesomeness Anton had promised to bring Chef Ramsay. “I have with me a roasted corn chicken with some crispy cucumber and rutabaga with a light drizzle of Salmoriglio sauce.”

(Confessional: Don’t be cocky little Anton)

Anton: It’s done with. Ramsay’s going to give me a perfect five out of five, maybe even a six out of five. Hell, if he wants to; he can name me the winner right away.

(END CONF)

By the time he had finished tasting it, he was desperately taking a gulp of water to wash it all down. “The chicken is cooked nicely, the vegetables are fine too. But the sauce...ho-ly fuck. That is way too much sauce for one chicken. Are you sure that it was light?”

“Yes, i’m sure.” Anton insisted calmly. Ramsay looked at Anton as if he was still young and in his culinary school days. “Seriously?” Anton nodded, repeating his notion. “Yes.” Oh yeah, Anton hadn’t changed a bit since last time. “So damn near burning my mouth off is considered a light drizzle?”

“Well maybe I may have put in a little more than I thought.” Anton admitted. Ramsay agreed, aggravated that Anton had failed to learn...well, much of anything. “Yeah, maybe...still, the chicken is cooked well enough that I can’t go any lower than two so...three. But a very hesitant three at that. Try harder.”

Anton nodded, “I will Chef.” humbled and feeling disappointed with the response given to his dish.

(Confessional: That’ll give you some humility son)

Anton: Well maybe it wasn’t the best, but at the same time, he did give me a positive score; so by that logic, it was a complete success. (Smirk)

(END CONF)

Chicken’s done, onto the hog as Vinnie and Bryant showcased their pork chop dishes to Ramsay, Vinny came up first with his crispy pork with cayenne pepper and mussels.

(Confessional: Since you’ve been gone)

Vinny: After Hell’s Kitchen, I started my own little restaurant across where I live; and it’s done some solid business overall, good way to provide some food on the table; I even roped my friend Trev into this...you know, Trev? The guy who no one besides me and maybe one other person liked. And yet he made it to the final four, that my friend is what tough men are made of.

(END CONF)

“Presentation, a little clumsy; but the little elements work very well and the flavor is delicious.” Vinny looked poised to gain more of an edge in the blue team’s favor… “That’s a three, good job.” And he did.

(Confessional: Of course)

Vinny: (Confident smile. Brushing back his hair) Yeah.

(END CONF)

Vinny had produced an acceptable dish to Ramsay, but could Bryant counter with a good dish of his own? Everyone waited to see as he presented his pan-seared pork with coffee-crust and a blue cheese slaw.

“Now that is delicious.” Chef Ramsay declared. “Pork, perfectly cooked, crust immaculate, and the blue cheese gives it that extra thrust of flavor. You can feel yourself enjoying it again and again.” Some of the other contestants looked in impressed, it seems as if Bryant hadn’t lost a step. “That young man...is my first five of the night.” Bryant received a standing ovation for his contributions to his team.

(Confessional: Well, this guy’s certainly pleased)

Bryant: First five of the night, like I never even left.

(END CONF)

The first perfect score of the night brought the red team’s lead even further; it would have to be up to Hassan and his lobster ravioli with tomato sauce and sage seasoning to put the ball back in the blue team’s favor, there was just one question. “Why ravioli?” Hassan shrugged and give a humble answer. “Just wanted to try something different chef.”

(Confessional: Make your statement, no matter what it takes)

Hassan: I want to show Chef Ramsay that he made the wrong decision letting me go the way I did, and if this is the risk I have to take to show him I can handle the pressure; then that’s what i’m prepared to do.

(END CONF)

Ramsay gave a taste of Hassan’s lobster ravioli and investigated the dish he had made. He then looked at Hassan and gave his verdict. “You know, trying something different for the sake of being different doesn’t always work in a chef’s favor...but in this case, it works.” Hassan smiled, his bold move paying off. “You nailed the ravioli, the sauce is vibrant and yet doesn’t overpower and neglect the original concept of the lobster.”

Here we go again. “Hassan...that’s the second five of the night.” Hassan nodded, overjoyed with getting a perfect score.

(Confessional: Whoo!)

Hassan: Whoo! (Laughs victoriously)

(END CONF)

With Hassan scoring big for the blue team, it was time for Suzanne to show what she could do. But before Ramsay could scavenger her dish, he decided to mess with her mind; even if it was for a little bit. “Now let me ask you something.” He began as Suzanne presented her pan roasted lobster with chives, zucchini and onion. “Am I going to need a play by play for this?” There were a few smirks and stifled chuckles from both teams, especially Tenielle. “No chef.” Suzanne smiled sheepishly.

(Confessional: But you know she wasn’t liking it!)

Suzanne: (annoyed groan) Ramsay, why did you bring that up?! (sighs) That was so stupid of me to say that...

Well you were the one that said it now, if you really didn’t want it becoming a topic of Ramsay’s interest; maybe you should have kept your mouth shut that one service.

We mean, seriously; YOU WERE BEATEN BY THE SIDES. How basic a concept is that?

(END CONF)

Alright, enough with the joking around; it was actually time to try her efforts. “Vegetables cooked perfectly, seasoning is spot on…” So far, so good. “And what am I expecting from cutting into the lobster?” All Suzanne could answer was “Perfection.” Was this the sound of another five in the making? Ramsay cut into the lobster with his knife and revealed what the lobster entailed…

“Oh dear.” Ramsay noticed, the lobster not quite in the necessary temperature. “How long was that in for?” Suzanne began to sweat bullets, how under or over was the lobster she wondered. “Thirteen minutes.” She spat out quietly and quickly. Ramsay took a taste and one more glance at the lobster, just to be absolutely certain. “The lobster tastes nice. However, it’s JUST under. Had this been cooked for another thirty seconds, you would have had a five. But as it stands; I can’t really fault it too much.” Suzanne breathed a sigh of relief, yeah; she undercooked the lobster, but it wasn’t by much. And the rest of the dish had gone over well with him, so there was it. “It’s a very strong 4, good job.” Suzanne nodded. “Thank you chef.”  
(Confessional: Yes, take the time to gloat; that’s what they usually do)

Suzanne: (Smiling) BAM! (chuckles) I still got it.

(END CONF)

Time to see two more chefs do battle, hopefully neither ducked it up completely. Tenielle went first, sharing her seared and braised duck with shrimp mac and cheese with ginger seasoning. “Duck, perfectly cooked and the ginger makes it pop out even more than it has any right to, Maybe a little less of the mac and cheese would’ve helped presentation; even so, great effort.” And with that, Tenielle scored a four out of five. With Tenielle doing a terrific job, it was time for Russell to impress with his poached duck with wild mushroom slaw and eggplant puree. “You came back with a vengeance. That dish, is nailed to a tee.”

“That’s a five out of five, well done Russell.” Russell nodded, he knew. “Yeah that’s right.” He mumbled to his team mates. “I’m the king ‘round here.”

(Confessional: Please don’t spoil the show)

Jackie: Russell, please; you think you run things ‘round here just because your dish is so delicious? Get real. When it comes to service; you better have your ass on your station, cause if not; we’re bringing the guillotine.

(END CONF)

“So Jackie,” Ramsay started. “This will be your first time competing WITHIN the rules. Excited?” How Chef Ramsay knew about Jackie’s blowup with the other chefs during her final days inside Hell’s Kitchen was a wonder, but he did. And boy did she regret it. “Absolutely chef.”

So what about the dish? “I have here a crispy salmon, pan-seared; with a fettuccine pesto alongside mushrooms.” Ramsay looked at Jackie’s salmon dish with intent, and then he started to frown. That was a sign that something wrong. “Even from far away, I can tell that the salmon is ice cold.” Jackie stayed calm and tried to reassure him that it was of good temperature. “I can assure you that it is crispy.”

He cut into a piece of salmon, put it in his mouth...and then spat it out again. Some could only cringe at how bad the taste must have been. “Worse than I thought, it’s not just raw; it’s frozen.” Ramsay shook his head and went for the pesto and mushrooms. “At least the pesto is cooked?

“I used canned pesto.” Ramsay spat that out the very moment she said that. Not good. “And the mushrooms?” Jackie was starting to lose her patience a little, she got it. The dish sucked, there was no need to rub it in her face. “Look, it’s not easy to concentrate when you have all this work to do and limited time to do it.” She snapped lightly. Now he was pissed, Great Master Ramsay had no time for bad attitude and especially not when he being served bad food.

With an icy glare and a sneer of disapproval, he gave Jackie a clear-cut threat. “You may not like how things work here, but I understand. If you don’t like how I do things, you can always go back home and do it your way.” Jackie raised her eyebrow, yeah; Ramsay was being hard on her, but at the same time she had made a grave mistake in criticizing the way Hell’s Kitchen had worked. That was an unforgivable sin to us spirits and anywhere else, she would have been condemned to the curse of termination from her employment. But in Hell’s Kitchen, we allowed them a choice; either shape up or get shipped out.

“And i’m serious. You can fuck off right now if you want.” This was a disaster in the making, the red team looked on in concern as Jackie tried to make her decision; was she about to break the record for the fastest elimination in the history of Hell’s Kitchen? “No Chef, I did not mean for it to come out the way it did; I apologize and I will do better next time.” Jackie rapidly said, backing down from her tough stance for once. “Yeah, you will. This dish gets a one.”

(Confessional: Suck up has a point)

Suzanne: Jackie, you cannot talk to Chef Ramsay like that! He’s trying to help you and you’re not taking the criticism. If you can’t handle a bit of critique, why are you here?

(END CONF)

The villains’ salmon had sunk to the bottom of the ocean, but what about the heros’? “I have a seared wild salmon with corn, shrimp and grits and parsnip seasoning.” Intrigue stood around this dish, but before the great master could taste; he had to ask Sterling something very important. “You’re a smart man, what do you think this dish will taste like?” Just guess what it was Sterling wound up saying. “A hundred.” That drew some smiles from chefs on both teams. He began to taste Sterling’s salmon dish...and began to smile. “Wow wow wow...now that is good enough to go to heaven for.” Sterling smiled widely. “Thank you Chef.” A hundred percent? Perhaps it was better, a hundred and ten; maybe even a hundred and twenty percent. Nevertheless, it was all but certain as to what score this dish had gotten. “That's worth a five, absolutely delicious.”

Sterling went back to his team and received high fives from Hassan and Bobby for his strong performance while a disappointed Jackie slinked back to the other side. “The competition has gone up a whole new level.” Chef Ramsay declared, the best signature dish up to this point.

The next two rounds went without much fuss, though Ramsay did show respect to Bret and his neck. Sabrina would present a Half sliced beef with strawberry and lemon filling in the middle and fennel seasoning. “The dish is ambitious and combines a prestigious cut of meat with nutrition and value.” A four out of five. What about Bret? The Floridan chef would have to be on another level with his pan-roasted beef with herb and rosemary spices and red pepper aioli to beat such a dish.

“You’ve cooked the beef perfectly.” Oh yeah, he got this in the bag. “Pepper, delicious. Spices, rich. That is a welcome back gift and then some.” Yet another five much to the delight of the blue team. Then came the filet round, starting with Rochelle and her seared fillet with watercress and raspberry with sage seasoning. “Fillet cooked beautifully, watercress is a little overpowering…” A solid if not safe effort, perfect for a three. Then came Jen with her “Jumping Filet?”, Ramsay was baffled with the name given to the filet as were we. “Yes sir Chef.” Jen smiled.

(Confessional: ...What?)

Jen: In all fairness, I was also going for Jen’s Fucking Filet, but I don’t want to insult Chef Ramsay; no sir, not my big return.

(NO CONF)

With the (ahem) interesting name aside, Jen’s filet consisted of truffle sauce and a ‘lot of rosemary. When asked why, Jen replied simply: “To give you the extra spice and sexiness you need for your partner.” Vinny and Anton nodded, at least some people were willing to look past the ridiculous name and unusual techniques.

(Confessional: Some rivalries start off with the pettiest of reasons)

Sabrina: (Deadpan) Bitch please, I'm spicier and sexier than you’ll ever be.

(END CONF)

“The sauce is nice, fillet’s cooked beautifully; but the rosemary really spoils it for me.” A three-pointer to keep the red team in the running, thirty-three to thirty-two.

And now: The main event. The battle of the lamb dishes between Josh and Lacey. Both competitors holding checkered reputations, Ramsay started with Lacey and her braised lamb with asparagus, wasabi and a vanilla glaze. “Now before I taste this, I need to ask; if I end up giving you a low score, will you want to drop out?” Lacey shook her head. “No chef.”

(Confessional: That’s the attitude to take my friend)

Lacey: I want to show Chef Ramsay that I've changed as a person, that i’m not this whiny, self-doubting person I was last time I was in Hell’s Kitchen and I want to show him that his lessons taught me a lot about cooking and myself.

(END CONF)

Ramsay began to scour through Lacey’s lamb, looking to finish the red team’s run with a bang. “The lamb is nailed. Seasoning spot on, it’s a good dish coming from someone who didn’t leave on the greatest of terms.” Oh hallelujah. Lacey’s dish was getting a positive review. “That’s worth four out of five, good job." Lacey smiled at a job well done and put the blue team in a difficult situation, to tie; they needed to score at least two. To outright win? It would need to be a three. Sounds easy right? Yes, but considering the person they were trusting to bring home the win...yeah.

“I remember being really hard on you.” Ramsay joked at Josh. Josh had to laugh at himself. “I still remember when you took my black jacket away from me. What happened to it anyway?” Ramsay deliberately lied to him. “We threw it away with all the others.” What we had actually done was burn the thing to ashes, but the contestants weren’t allowed to know that. If he did, they’d be pretty pissed off. Nonetheless, Josh presented his dish to Chef Ramsay. “And we have?”

“We have an oven-baked lamb with Szechuan sauce and oregano seasoning.” Not much of a dish, but it was what it was. Ramsay dug his knife into the lamb, awaiting the moment of truth for his team; The great master put it in his mouth, tasted it, savoring every little detail, getting slower and slower with each and every bite. And then looked at Josh straight in the eye and gave him his word, seemingly almost stunned at what he had just tasted. “Josh, I can’t believe I'm saying this…” He started. “But for the first time, you have made me something…

…

...

…

“That I actually enjoyed.”

Josh looked on, completely shocked at the words coming out of Ramsay's mouth. Even Great Master Ramsay seemed a little surprised that he had actually said it. Was this actually happening? Had Josh done what he had never managed to do and give Chef Ramsay that he liked?

"You cooked the lamb beautifully and seasoned it perfectly. Sure, it could have used a little less sauce and the presentation was a bit sloppy; but by far the biggest surprise of the night. Especially coming from you." Ramsay said to a grateful Josh. "Thank you." And now it was judgment time. Was Josh's dish good enough to squeak out a win for the blue team, Or would the red team just barely inch out a win? The room fell into a deep silence as Chef Ramsay began to ponder his choices...

And then, after an intense period of unstable tension and mystique; Ramsay revealed the outcome of Josh's dish. "Your dish gets a three, congratulations." It was done. The heroes had picked up the first victory of the season. Josh went back to his overjoyed team and was greeted with an endless amount of high fives and warm embraces.

(Confessional: Twirl like a ballerina and call yourself Dewberry, you actually did it)

Josh: (stunned) I...I did it. I actually gave Chef Ramsay something he enjoyed. I feel like I'm in bizarro world right now and honestly, I think I want to stay there.

(END CONF)

Indeed he had. "Blue team, I have the most exciting reward for you all. You're all going out for dinner at the Hell's Kitchen restaurant at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, and you'll be traveling via plane!" Now that was an award and then some as all the blue team looked on excited to dine in the playground of hell come to life. "There, you will be meeting up with a very important person who works there. I won't name who it is, but trust me; some of you will be shocked. Now head to the dorms!" Ramsay sent the blue team to their dorm to get ready for their night out at Las Vegas.

(Confessional: Well now you know!)

Vinnie: I didn't even know Hell's Kitchen HAD a restaurant in Las Vegas, but it only made this victory all the more sweeter.

(END CONF)

Ramsay then turned his attention to a disappointed and discouraged red team. "Villains, you did what you could. Unfortunately, you were screwed by the salmon." Jackie kept her head down, disappointed by the failure and events that proceeded it. "As you know, Hell's Kitchen prides itself on being the cleanest it can be. And right now? It looks anything BUT." Ramsay explained, showcasing the state of affairs that had come from the kitchen; pots and pans everywhere, a few stains here and there, dropped bits of food, it looked like a tornado had come and torn up the place. "I want all of this sparkling clean. Marino will provide you with the cleaning utensils needed." Everyone nodded. "Head to the dorms." The red team then went off to their dorm to get their jackets.

Once inside, Jackie went into her room to think about what had just occurred. She slumped onto her bed and shook her head, ashamed at herself for putting her team in the situation they were in. Also inside the red team's room was Sara, also overwhelmed for the punishment soon to follow; but she was also rather sympathetic to her new teammate and wanted to be with her during her time of need. "Hey girl, try not to take it so hard. It could always be worse." Sara quietly told her. Jackie slowly cocked her head towards Sara with a cold emotionless stare. "Bitch, how can it be worse than a one?" Sara thought about what to say next, it was clear Jackie was in a bad enough mood as it was, and there was no way she wanted to make it any worse...

So, silently; she left her to wallow in her own failure.

(Confessional: Good, that's how you should feel)

Jackie: (disappointed) I know I'm supposed to be this tough girl with a 'fuck the world' attitude, but I have feelings and thoughts outside of that mindset...and tonight I let myself and the team down tonight. And, it's just not a good feeling.

(END CONF)

Whilst spirits in the red team were not exactly peppy, the blue team was dressed in their finest at the airport; all for the cause of dining in Las Vegas at Hell's Kitchen: The Restaurant. "Everyone ready to party?" Bobby asked, delivering cheers from all members of the team. They were ready.

(Confessional: Las Vegas, here we come!)

Sterling: Look at us man, we're heading to Las Vegas! Entertainment capital of the world! And we're gonna do it in style.

(END CONF)

The blue team head towards the plane they would be traveling in, and wouldn't you know it? It was a private jet for all ten to enjoy...on their own. Oh, the look on their face when they saw the chic and classy interior of that plane. And to make things better? They would be drinking only the finest champagne. "That's what the good life is all about right here!" Vinny declared as they toasted to an impressive start and the hopeful future success they would have.

(Confessional: I wouldn't blame you if it was)

Tennille: This is only the beginning, everyone on that red team better watch their back; cause blue team, hero team, whatever you call us; there's gonna be plenty more where that came from, point, FACT.

(END CONF)

And so, they flew; higher, higher and higher still up into the sky. But as for the red team? The complete inverse as they surveyed the damage done to the kitchen and then from the orders of Marino and the sous chefs, all those with two hands and wearing a red jacket began to scrub every pan, every pot, every stove, every oven, every nook and cranny there was to offer inside a kitchen. It was brutal. But that was not the only thing that was giving the red team such a headache, one teammate decided to take the time to assert themselves as the unofficial team captain.

"Alright people, let's go! Chef Ramsay wants this place spotless by the end of the night!" Russell commanded, barking orders at everyone who dared to listen to him. If Adolf Hitler was American and a chef vying for a spot for one of the most respected chef's very own corporation; this was him. "Anton, keep washing those pans!" Anton was already washing the pans anyway, but he washed harder just to please Russell's demands. "Lacey, less stalling; more shining!" Lacey kept shining the pots, afraid of what Russell might do to her if she did not. As for Jen? Well, that was about to come up... "Jen! What are you doing?" Russell targeted her attention to the sassy Chicagoan, his visceral eyes glaring right into her. Unlike the others, Jen was anything but scared. "Don't mind me, i'm just making sure all their work is done before the end of the night."

"That's not gonna fly, you need to take part at some point!" Russell gave out a warning, Jen didn't like that one very much. "I AM taking part! What about you? Why aren't YOU taking part?" Jen questioned, throwing his logic back at him. The situation looked tense, and it looked to be a severe issue to the team; something they didn't exactly want right about now. 

(Confession: Jen never could let go of a grudge)

Jen: Russell, he just loves to hear himself talk, almost made me want to find the biggest jar there was and use Russell's head as it's plug so we couldn't listen to him no more.

(END CONF)

"Alright you two, settle down." Bryant chimed in, not wanting to escalate the situation. "We need to get this shit done and done now; so no one better start an argument." Bryant gave a stern look at both Russell and Jen, who quickly shut their mouths and got back to what they were doing before as Bryant himself took over the reins. "Don't worry about them guys, that's settled. Keep doing what you're doing." Bryant instructed in a much calmer matter. "Well at least someone has some common sense..." Sara muttered to herself, not exactly fond of the quarreling herself.

(Confessional: Hot heads think...differently?)

Bryant: You think i'm just gonna sit here and let this simmer into something worse? No, if I have to take the role of leader? I'll take it by the throat and bang it out. That's what got me to the big show last time, and it's what will take me there again.

(END CONF)

The red team continued onward with their scrubbing and dubbing and all of that good clean fun, the blue team had at this point gotten on a limo and made their way to their destination. Caesar's Palace. Or more specifically; Hell's Kitchen. Once the limo had finally made it's way to the restaurant; everyone got out the limo to prepare themselves for a glorious night out. But there was one more surprise that was awaiting them, they didn't realize it yet; but once Sterling mentioned his name, things began to build up. "Didn't that kid named Nick win the executive chef position there?" Tenielle asked. "Now this may be me having a senior moment, but I have no idea who that guy is." Bobby wondered. But there was one man that knew him well, and the moment he saw his face; his face lit up. "Look at that...Nick moved up the culinary world." He mumbled happily to himself.

(Confessional: You know so well)

Bret: Nick and I were a part of the fourteenth season of Hell's Kitchen, and we didn't always get along; but i've always had little respect for him as a person and a chef, and seeing him now working for Gordon Ramsay at one of the most prosperous cities in the world, it makes me proud that some of our boys are being represented.

(END CONF)

Nick was something else, becoming the very first contestant in Hell's Kitchen history to return and win the entire competition; he had always shown undeniable talent, as last time he played; he made it all the way to the final 5, stopped by a weak performance as a sous chef. Then, he was invited back; and a miracle was revealed. Not only had he gained in maturity, he had gained in terms of leadership. A consistent MVP for his team, a vocal person with a hint of sass to him; Nick had come a long way as a chef, and it was all but cemented when he beat out competitors such as Elise, Benjamin, Jennifer, even the seemingly unstoppable Michelle and finally his long time friend and fellow season 14 team member Milly to become the seventeenth winner of Hell's Kitchen and the head chef at this very restaurant. And nothing, absolutely nothing would ever take that away from him.

So guess who was there to greet the challenge winning team when they first arrived inside the restaurant?

"Look guys! It's Nick!" Sterling cried out in joy. Everyone waved happily at the winner of Season 17 and a lucky few got to shake hands with him. "How's everyone doing tonight?" Nick smiled, he had garnered a lot of attention since winning Hell's Kitchen and seeing those who came before or after him (some having even idolized him) only made him feel even better inside.

(Confessional: He's kind of a big deal)

Hassan: I've seen Nick's work on Hell's Kitchen, he's come such a long way as a chef and as a person that can help but feel inspired just by seeing him; this is someone I want to be one day.

(END CONF)

"Look guys! It's Nick!" Sterling cried out in joy. Everyone waved happily at the winner of Season 17 and a lucky few got to shake hands with him. "How's everyone doing tonight?" Nick smiled, he had garnered a lot of attention since winning Hell's Kitchen and seeing those who came before or after him (some having even idolized him) only made him feel even better inside.

(Confessional: He's kind of a big deal)

Hassan: I've seen Nick's work on Hell's Kitchen, he's come such a long way as a chef and as a person that can help but feel inspired just by seeing him; this is someone I want to be one day.

(END CONF)

And so the glorious festivities began as the blue team were given the finest seats in all of Hell's Kitchen: Las Vegas, champagne next to their plates and some of the most delicious food that they'd have ever seen. "I've always wanted to visit heaven," Josh gushed. "I can now honestly say that I have." And all was well, there was even a moment; late into the night where Nick even gave out some great advice. "Y'know, nobody thought i'd make it as far as I did in my season." Tenielle said. "No one did for me either, but sometimes; you've just got to seize your moment." Truer words had never been more profound. "If you just go in there with the notion that you're going to learn something new, improve on that one thing you need work on; then you're going to do that and hopefully do some great things."

(Confessional: All in a day's work from a former Hell's Kitchen winner)

Tenielle: Man, that Nick guy and I are so alike; it's like we were siamese twins or something!

(END CONF)

But alas, even he could not stay forever; but as a parting gift, Team Blue gave a toast to their longtime member, ally and all around great chef and guy. "To Nick!" Bret declared. Everyone agreed and all was right with the world as one day moved to the next. The red team had also garnered a gift, having worked themselves to near death over being honorary housemaids all day at their room; red jackets and J.W Hankwell knives. "Oh, now we've got ourselves a party." Johnny smirked.

(Confessional)

Suzanne: I still have the ones from my season, they're THAT good.

(END CONF)

With yesterday officially now tomorrow, the twenty chefs fell into a deep slumber; wondering what tomorrow would bring.

The next day, the chefs struggled out from the comfort of their beds to the tune of a screeching telephone, one that Johnny would quickly answer. It was Ramsay. "Yes, i'd like everyone to meet me in the bar." The bar, once an unknown treasure of the jewel that was Hell's Kitchen; it had obtained it's very own menu early into last season. The sixteen chefs would have to cook something special that would be it's highlight, the winner being guarenteed immunity from elimination no matter who had won or lost the service proceeding it; in the end, it would be Milly who with his handcut french fries and lobster cheese sauce won out over serious competition. The very fact Chef Ramsay was calling the chefs over to the bar was a sign that something very big was to happen inside that bar once more. "As you know, last season we introduced a new bar menu. The highlight of that menu being Milly's handcut french fries with lobster cheese sauce." Well yes Great Master Ramsay, that's exactly what we spirits just told the people at home. But do what you must oh wise one. "The bar menu turned out to be so popular, that i've decided to not only bring it back...but to expand it." Ramsay got everyone's attention and they proceeded to listen with intent as Ramsay explained what would happen. "What I would like is for every chef from both teams to produce one dish which you think would best suit the bar menu. You'll have forty minutes to do so, and once finished they will be sampled by your sous chefs Christina and Jamie, who will then select the top five best dishes for both teams." Pretty mundane so far, the chefs would be adding onto the bar menu with something of their own, like with last year; the four Ramsay thought were the best were to be in his 'Top 4'. "But this is very important, so listen carefully. The chef with the best overall dish will not only have it be on the bar menu...but with also be safe from tonight's elimination no matter what happens at service."

This was an exciting opportunity, not only did the chefs have another shot to show Chef Ramsay what they were capable of; they would be able to add on to Hell's Kitchen's long and fruitful history with their own contribution. "This is very important, because this gives my first opportunity to see who can break out in front of the pack. So someone who did NOT make black jackets last time could surprise everyone by winning this indiviual challenge." There was now a big fight feel coming from the bar, every chef wanted the honor of being a part of history; and come hell or high water, they were going to find a way to do so. Who would step up? Who would take the lead? Who would break out in front of the pack and stake their first claim as a dominant force in this competition?

With a heavy heart and an infinite amount of regret our dear friends, the answer could only be described such as 'To Be Continued'. Yes, despite the illustrious legend of Hell's Kitchen and the immortal powers of Great Master Ramsay, even we had our limit. Our time limit of one hour.

And so we leave you here, for now at least. But do not fret, for we; the spirits of Hell shall rise again very soon to give you all the delicious and gory details of the battle for bar supremacy in our second and greatest chapter in this undying tale of torment: The Bar-Knuckle Battle Royale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Course Survey:
> 
> 1\. Chef Ramsay has raised the bar to another level, and only the strong will survive- (Ten contestants will be chosen to represent their teams in the bar menu challenge, of those ten; which four will be the frontrunners?)
> 
> 2\. An all out war at dinner service! Chefs being thrown every which way and Ramsay will stop at nothing to have a good service. (The team with more chefs still in the kitchen by the end of service will win opening night, of the twenty chefs; how many will remain when the night ends? On that note, which team wins out in the end?)
> 
> 3\. One chef just can't handle the pressure. (One of these ejections is going to be self-orchestrated as they get so frustrated and give up entirely. Who will that person be?)
> 
> Blue Team (Heroes)  
> Elsie- Season 1  
> Josh- Season 3  
> Bobby- Season 4  
> Tenielle- Season 6  
> Vinny- Season 8  
> Roshni- Season 10  
> Rochelle- Season 12  
> Sterling- Season 13  
> Bret- Season 14  
> Hassan- Season 15
> 
> Red Team (Villains)  
> Sara- Season 2  
> Jen- Season 4  
> Lacey- Season 5  
> Suzanne- Season 6  
> Sabrina- Season 8  
> Russell- Season 8  
> Anton- Season 12  
> Bryant- Season 13  
> Jackie- Season 15  
> Johnny- Season 16


	2. Bar-Knuckle Battle Royale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chef Ramsay raises the bar to another level, and only the strong will survive, thus leading to an all out war at dinner service where chefs are thrown every which way and Ramsay stop at nothing to have a good opening night and one chef just can't handle the pressure and walks out before it's all said and done!
> 
> All this and more on a sizzling episode of Hell's Kitchen: Heroes vs Villains!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, the continuation of Hell's Kitchen: Heroes vs Villains.

Chapter 2- Act I: Bar Boyz In Da Hood

It has come to our attention that many of you have been yearning for the knowledge of the identities for us spirits. Ever since the first chapter of our documents have been released we have recieved letter after letter of people demanding to know who it is that they are recieving this information from?

To answer this question, we present of our own. Who is to say we need to have an identity? Why not represent as one? We all think alike, we all look alike, we all sound alike. Why is it that you need to classify us as things we are not? Why not just identify us all as one?  
But before we delve too far into this thinking, let us resume where we originally had left off. Shall we?

As mentioned when last we met, the bar menu that had been put in place last season had returned in need of an expansion; the consensus being that such a menu had proven to be a popular decision. So the law was made, the top five best dishes from both teams would shape up; as chosen by the sous chefs. The best dish recieving Grand Master Ramsay's approval and guaranteed their immunity from any nomination. The catch? They had but forty minutes to produce one dish that would be fitting of a bar menu such as Hell's Kitchen's.

And that time began…

…

…

…

Now.

So off they went, inside the kitchen; ready to impress Chef Ramsay once again with whatever it was they were to make for the bar menu. Hopefully it was good, but some we assume would miss the mark. Regardless, every dish had to be absolutely perfect for Christina and Jamie. Lest they resist being in hot water. And so, they all scrambled to get everything they would need to create the perfect dish.

(Confessionals: Perspective, perspective. It's all relative to me!)

Elsie: Getting immunity from elimination this early in the game, it would put someone out in front as one to beat. If I got that opportunity, it might cement me as a team leader.

"Alright, anyone need anything?" Elsie asked her team, willing to help out as much as possible while focusing on her own dish. "Yeah uh, do you know where the turkey is?" Josh asked, in came Elsie to take on the mission of finding the turkey.

Josh: Elsie is like Superman, if Superman were black...and a woman.  
While some were willing to help out their fellow teammates with their dish, others were rather content with focusing on looking out for who they thought was number one: Themselves.

"Chowder, chowder, chowder..." Jackie investigated the kitchen, looking for the chowder that would render her dish complete.

Jackie: Bar menu? Immunity? Fuck that man, to me, this is Signature Dish take two; it's time for my redemption.

(END CONF)

Thirty minutes into this surprise challenge, by that point; everyone had garnered the ingredients needed to make their dishes. Most of which were rather on course for what an restaurant's bar menu would need; classic, yet at the same time with a bit of rustic charm.  
But a certain few on the red team decided to take a different approach, and Ramsay was quick to notice. "Red team!" He called on the ten red jackets, an urgent warning to them. "So Suzanne's already cooking the chicken tenders, how many minutes do we have?" The red team answered back with, "Twenty five minutes!" That left another question on his mind. "So how many minutes does it take to cook a chicken tender?" Once again, the red team had the time. 

"Eight minutes!"

Thirty minutes into this surprise challenge, by that point; everyone had garnered the ingredients needed to make their dishes. Most of which were rather on course for what an restaurant's bar menu would need; classic, yet at the same time with a bit of rustic charm.  
But a certain few on the red team decided to take a different approach, and Ramsay was quick to notice. "Red team!" He called on the ten red jackets, an urgent warning to them. "So Suzanne's already cooking the chicken tenders, how many minutes do we have?" The red team answered back with, "Twenty five minutes!" That left another question on his mind. "So how many minutes does it take to cook a chicken tender?" Once again, the red team had the time. 

"Eight minutes!"

"So why is she cooking the chicken tenders now?" Ramsay was demanding answers faster than a policeman asking a driver why it was they were speeding. "Don't worry chef, I have a plan to make this work." It was clear Suzanne was going for something bold...and yet at the same time, something very arbitrary and downright suicidal. "You had better!" Ramsay looked on, still very much iffy on her strategy.

(Confessional: You are not Russel Hantz)

Suzanne: (Overzealous) I've been in bars. I've been in pubs. And what do they serve in bars? Chicken. So, if I do something within the boundaries of what bars and pubs do; I should be guaranteed a spot in the top four.

(END CONF)

And one of them...well...let's just say they're just lost. "Anyone know where the mussels are?" Lacey asked Sara, bumbling around like a deer with headlights. Lacey's form had been a concern to her team all night, and a few decided not to let it go unnoticed. Showing some worry, Bryant decided to ask her. "You doing alright?" But Lacey was quick to insist. "I'll be alright once I get the mussels."

"Alright, you need my help; you ask." Bryant went back to his dish and Lacey went back to...whatever it was she was doing.

(Confessional: Oh boo hoo, cry me a river)

Lacey: After Hell's Kitchen, I sort of retired from the culinary industry; it just became too much pressure for me. So getting back in there after all those years, i'm a little out of practice.

CRASH! Down went a pan as she clumsily stumbled, losing her footing in the process. The others looked at her as they wondered what it was she was doing? Was her head even in the game? "I'm alright!" She said, and went back on her dish. Whatever it was.

Sara: I'm convinced that Lacey just doesn't want to be here, if she's just going to flopping about doing little of anything and causing trouble for our team; she's gonna go down in flames.

(END CONF)

"Sixty seconds to go!" Ramsay warned everyone, the time getting ever closer. With all dishes nearing completion, it was all but a matter of plating and placing. For Roshni however, it was all but a matter of desperation as she looked at the rather sub-par quality of her bar menu application. She looked at some of the others, they looked so...good. And her indi-texan styled taters seemed so...boring.

(Confessional: More rivers to cry for)

Roshni: Being Indian, I didn't go to that many bars; once I moved to Canada and later the United States and started to gain knowledge in culinary arts, I started learning about cuisine for just about everything...But I think it's pretty clear that I still have a little bit to learn.

(END CONF)

"Twenty seconds!" Everyone had to be on their ass at this point, Great Master Ramsay could wait for no one. And as quick as they could, they ran to finish plating their contraptions.

"Five..." Johnny gently topped his burger with a sesame seed bun.

"Four..." Bobby nodded his approval of his oysters with wild salmon and eggplant.

"Three..." Suzanne casually strolled to the pass, breaded chicken tenders in hand.

"Two..." Anton hustled as fast as he could to get his pizza off to the pass. "Move it or lose it!" He hollered as he did.

"One..." And time.

With preparation over, it was time for the chefs to be judged by their fellow sous chefs. The red team stood next to the intimidating aura of Christina Wilson; all looking to please the Season 10 winner in some form, though some were a little bit antsy having to come face to face with her.

(Confessional: Scared of the dark eh?)

Jackie: My sous chef is Christina, again. And me and her did NOT get along last time.

We spirits remember so fondly of the time you wrote the 'Fucking List', Christina was so vividly angry that she said that the next time someone wrote said list that they would finish said 'fucking list'. What we spirits do not understand is this: Why was this list so adamant with fucking? Was there someone you've always had it hard on but never had the chance to express your true, lustful, heartfelt feelings fo- Oh Ramsay, too many spirit boners! We must cease this sinful behavior at once!

Jackie: I'm just hoping she likes what I have to offer…

"I have here a clam chowder with two cinnamon baked snickerdoodles to dip it into." Interesting choices, but would they pass the test. Christina dipped one of the snickerdoodles into the clam chowder, giving it a test..."Ok, good. You can take it back with you" Jackie nodded. "Thank you chef."

Jackie: (Annoyed) Oh come on! You're not even gonna tell if it was good or not? What a wuss…

(END CONF)

Now it was Suzanne's turn, not only that; it was her chance to see if her surprising and unusual techniques would pay off. "I have with me three breaded chicken tenders with a tangy remoulade sauce" Christina took a few glances at the dish as Suzanne patiently waited to see what it was she would say about it.

(Confessional: Pray, and pray hard)

Suzanne: Please, PLEASE tell me that my dish is good…

(END CONF)

"Ok, thank you." Christina said, no emotion in her voice.

With the blue team, Josh was first to rise to the occasion with a "celery, lettuce, onion and bell pepper salad with onion rings". "And the inspiration came from where?" Jamie asked politely, "Just came from what I do best." Josh shrugged, charmful donkey he was.

(Confessional: Veggin' over nothing)

Josh: I had a meal-delivery company that specified in giving young children a nutritious and healthy alternative to normal freezer and take-out dinners, the quality of food we put out was absolutely mind blowing and as an added bonus, it was good for you...after a while, me and my business partner kinda lost interest and started a greek restaurant. But, y'never know; I can always bring it back some day.

(END CONF)

"Alright, thank you." Jamie softly spoke.

Next to show their stuff to Jamie would be Hassan and his "Spicy crinkle cut pommes gaufrettes with Teriyaki sauce." Jamie dug into these asian take on an american classic, and nodded. "Thank you."

After some time had passed, the moment of truth would arrive; Chef Ramsay, the legend he was would at long last be able to taste the top five best dishes from both blue and red teams. But before they could go any further, Ramsay announced of a special guest. "To help me decide a top 4, i've enlisted the assistance of someone very special to me. Bar legend and Season 7 runner-up, Jay Santos!" The other chefs clapped as they saw Jay enter the dining hall and give Ramsay a friendly handshake.

(Confessional: An american blue jay)

Bobby: I heard about that guy, He had the relationship with Holli and was even in the finale with her! Talk about all the luck in the world, i'm lucky if I can get my wife close with me for more than five minutes without annoying her.

(END CONF)

They first started with the red team and Christina, "And the name of the first chef with a delicious dish is?"

"That would be Anton and his mushroom and pepperoni pizza." Christina replied back. Anton nodded to himself as his team gave him a empathetic and congratulatory applause and he walked proudly over to Chef Ramsay, dish in his hand.

(Confessional: NO! DON'T FEED THE GUY YOUR AFFECTION YOU TWATS!)

Anton: First dish of the day for my team, and i'm like "Well obviously."

(END CONF)

"Describe the dish please." Ramsay told Anton, and so he went off explaining what he did to create this did. "I did a three cheese styled pizza, mozzarella, alfredo and provolone, I used a garlic brush for the crust, put some mushrooms and pepperoni on it and even added a bit of Mediterranean sauce to it to put it all together." Ramsay and Jay both had at least one bite of one slice of one pizza. (Try saying that three times fast)

"I really like how all the cheeses play off with the garlic, sort of all those nice flavors; but they all share an important role; nothing overpowering the other." Jay gave off his words of wisdom to Anton. "Yeah, it's got that rustic charm and yet works like a modern day classic." Ramsay smiled, a good dish to start off the judging. "So far, that is the dish to beat. Good job."

(Confessional: Oh god...he's going to be a monster this year)

Anton: (arrogant smirk) Yeah, that's right. The dish to beat. Any challengers?

(END CONF)

"So Jockey, who will be going up on the blue team?" Ramsay turned his focus to Jamie and the blue team. "It would be Sterling and his bacon wrapped shrimp" Sterling had a grin wider than the Golden Gate Bridge itself as he made his way down to Chef Ramsay and Jay.

(Confessional: It's all 100!)

Sterling: Ya boy Sterling, first pick of the night for the blue team!

(END CONF)

"So, describe the dish please."

"We have some bacon wrapped shrimp, seasoned with some gravy, a bit of mashed potatoes and a whole lotta love." Sterling described, the 'whole lotta love' part garnering a few grins. "I have to give credit, the bacon wrapped shrimp is something I never thought i'd see...and it works." Jay gave his verdict. "I agree, the bacon actually compliments the shrimp very well, and the mash gives this cooler, calmer approach to everything. It's a good effort." Yes, it was; but enough to beat out Anton?

"It's close...but I think in terms of presentation, it comes just a bit short." Even so, Ramsay decreed it good enough that it would at least make the top 4.

"Right, Christina; name of the second dish the red team will be presenting."

"It's going to be Sara with her baked grilled cheese with lobster fritters" Sara came down from the pass to the dining hall to present her efforts to the two established chefs. "What I have for you today is a three cheese grilled cheese sandwich, mozzarella, swiss and parmesan with a side of lobster fritters"

(Confessional: Southern style made easy)

Sara: I know a grilled cheese sandwich seems incredibly basic, but y'know; I have a way of making every dish seem special just by lookin' at 'em so...yeah. (Starts laughing)

(END CONF)

"I mean, it looks incredibly plain; but it actually tastes delicious." Ramsay noted, not the greatest looking dish; but definitely a good tasting one. "Yeah, it's like with the pizza; all the different flavors are working together and not one of them is overpowering all of the others" And with a wave of a magic wand, Sara became the third representative of the top four.

Back to Jamie for the second of the five blue men and women to represent. "The second dish is going to be Rochelle and her turkey tacos." Rochelle smiled widely as she made her way to present her bar menu applicant to the Great Master and the Blue Haired Wizard.

"Ooh, tacos. Crucial to any bar menu." Jay noted, complementing the choice of food. "Thank you." Rochelle squeaked and then went on to explain her dish further, "I have for you turkey and shredded cheese tacos with a hint of peppercorn sauce" both men tried the two tacos, looking to continue the hot streak of good dishes. "I personally would have gone for a fruit or vegetable based product to better balance out the turkey, but this is still a really solid dish." Jay said. "It's a strong effort, but is it strong enough to make the top four?" Ramsay asked, a brief silence fell as Rochelle's fate was put in the hands of Jay. Jay would then reveal the official verdict. "Yes, i'd say it's in."

(Confessional: Amen!)

Rochelle: (Happy) Thank god! (laughing)

(END CONF)

"Now remember," Ramsay reminded the chefs. "The top four can change at any time, it's still anyone's challenge!" With that in mind, Johnny was chosen next by Christina to represent the red team with his 'sesame seed sliders'.

(Confessional: Bags are in this season y'know)

Johnny: Of course I made it in, burgers are my specialty; if they weren't, I wouldn't be working be a burger chef!

(END CONF)

"I have for you four sesame seed sliders, I seasoned them with some pepper, garlic and for a side; I have some hand cut tater tots." Johnny said. The response to the dish was breathtaking. "Now that is delicious." Jay smiled. "Yeah, it looks and feels like an ethnic bar menu" Ramsay heaped on some postive feedback himself. "Do you know what? That...

...

...Is better than Anton's dish. Well done." Johnny smiled as he saw his burgers replace Anton's pizza. "Thank you chefs."

(Confessional: Top John!)

Johnny: Woo! I'm in the top four! Better than anyone else, now it’s time to stay through the pack.

(END CONF)

With Johnny having seized the opportunity, Vinny became represenative number three for the blue team and he presented the chefs with his "Italian sausage lobster roll with relish, olive and pickle toppings"

"The sausage tastes nice, the olives and pickles work; the one thing? Next time, put the relish ON the sausage; it'll make things a lot less messy." Jay gave constructive criticism to the work of Vinny's. "Other than that...  
…

I'd say it's better than Rochelle." And once again, a new member joined the Top 4; and Vinny looked on as it happened, smiling.

(Confessional: (sniff) Don't get me choked up like that man!)

Vinny: Trev, if you're watching this buddy; That one was for you.

(END CONF)

With four dishes left to be tasted, the red team looked onto Christina as she revealed the penultimate pick for the villains squad. "The fourth dish for the red team will be Suzanne's chicken tenders" And she soon marched down the pass to the dining hall with the support of the red team in tow.

(Confessional: Opposite of yes!)

Suzanne: Yes! I made it in, all they have to do now is tell me that it's good; and i'm in the top four!

(END CONF)

"We have three breaded chicken tenders and a tangy remoulade sauce to dip your tenders in; and...yeah, I hope you enjoy." Suzanne smirked nervously as Jay went into the tenders. "The tenders are cold. Two of them at least." Jay noted. "How long did you cook them for?"

"I cooked them one at a time for eight minutes." Jay looked at Suzanne with concern, It appeared that this was a violation of an unwritten rule of cooking. "Ooh, you...can't do that. You have to cook all of the products at the same time, or you wind up with very different temperatures. Some cold, some not." The blue smurf explained. "That's what I was afraid would happen." Ramsay added on. "And the remoulade doesn't work well at all. Disappointing." Ramsay shook his head as Suzanne's plan began to crumble right in front of her. "Are we agreed that is out?"

"Yes, I would say so." Jay said, slamming the door for Suzanne.

(Confessional: Good, now never do that again)

Suzanne: (humbled) I took a big risk, I thought it would pay off...I was wrong.

(END CONF)

Seven down, three to go; Tenielle would represent the blue team fourth with her "Jambalaya with garlic, carrot, celery, onion and cajun spices" Jay and Ramsay both tasted the jumbalaya. "The spices are a little too overpowering for me," Jay explained. "Not little, way too much." Ramsay went further.

(Confessional: Whoa, deja vu)

Tenielle: This is exactly what happened with the crepes challenge! I don't understand what is it with grown men not wanting spice in their food. Are they allergic to it or something? I don't know!

(END CONF)

Obviously, Tenielle would not be going to the top four. But with all but two dishes left, anything could still happen. "So the final dish representing the red team?" This was a crucial pick, either it would be a clutch performance or end the team's side with massive disappointment. "It was a hard decision, but in the end; i've decided on...

...

"Bryant's ratatouille nicoise." Bryant celebrated a little bit inside before going down to see Jay and Ramsay and present his dish.

(Confessional: Runner-up going for the finish line...)

Bryant: Hell yeah! Bryant, coming in with the clutch!

(END CONF)

"I'll be honest, that is the first time i've ever seen anyone suggest a ratatouille for a bar dish" Jay looked on, puzzled that Bryant would even consider making such a dish. "Forty minutes to make us anything, and you decide to make a ratatouille?" Ramsay asked. Bryant nodded quietly. "Why?" Ramsay asked, baffled. "It's like what with Hassan did with his lobster ravioli, you gotta try something different every once in awhile."

It was true, Hassan had used that reasoning for his signature dish; while not necessary the best rationale, it did score him a perfect five out of five. Would lightning strike twice for Bryant?

Perhaps he thought so, at least until Jay grimaced and shook his head. Bryant then realized in horror his major error. "Oh shit..."

"Yeah, when you have that pungent taste in your mouth; you know that the vegetables are overcooked." Jay educated Bryant on the faults of his dish. "That is dreadful, especially coming from you." Ramsay lamented. "Clearly, that is out."

(Confessionals: ...And you choked...again)

Jackie: Bryant, seriously bro? You're a runner up and THAT'S the best you can do? If that’s the case man, then you’re in a lot of trouble.

Bryant mumbled a quick "Sorry guys" as he slumped his way back to his team.

Bryant: (talking to himself, shaking his head in frustration) Should've checked those veggies bro.

(END CONF)

"And the last dish for the blue team?" Ramsay asked Jamie as all eyes now returned to the blue team. "For the final dish for the blue team...

...

We have Josh and his veggie salad with onion rings"

(Confessional: Last to come up)

Josh: Last one up to bat, again. I won it for my team last time this happened, and i'm confident in my dish enough that I think I can do it again.

(END CONF)

"Right, describe the dish please?" Ramsay asked Josh. "I have a celery, lettuce, onion and bell pepper salad with a side of onion rings." Jay and Ramsay inspected the clearly nutrient inspired dish. "Boy, first a ratatouille; now a salad...At least this one looks edible." Jay mumbled to himself to Ramsay. Ramsay nodded.

"The presentation of the salad DOES seem a little boring; but the flavors work extremely well with each other." The grand master gave out his input. "It's a good dish; but I think my one issue with the dish is that maybe it's not exactly a bar type of dish." Jay entered his thoughts.

With everything taken to heart, there was just one question; was this dish good enough to make the final four? Jay and Ramsay thought long and hard, until finally; they came to a conclusion.

"I think it just misses out."

"I agree. A good effort, just not enough." Ramsay laid down his hammer and set a torch to Josh’s chances for immunity. Josh nodded, disappointed; but inside very proud with his attempt.

And there we were. The top four best dishes of the challenge. Sara, Johnny, Vinny and Sterling. "It's a difficult decision." Ramsay admitted. "But one of these dishes has the upper edge in terms of presentation and flavor."

(Confessionals: One of these things is not like the others)

Vinny: Maybe in another life, I could've been a bartender. But that's not what I am, i'm a chef; and i'm confident that my dish is going to give me immunity.

Vinny's sausage looked very appetizing…

Sara: During my opening service, everyone was messing up; me included. So if I win this challenge, that'll put me one step closer to the prize by default.

So did Sara's grilled cheese sandwiches…

Johnny: I want this one, if I don't hear my name called; i'm gonna be so pissed.

Johnny's sesame seed sliders were really delicious…

Sterling: I wish everyone all the luck they can get, but I have a good feeling about my dish...

And so were Sterling's shrimp…

But in the end, even though us spirits would have loved to have had all the dishes on board; there could only have been one. So in the end, the winning dish of the night went too…

…

…

…

"Johnny."

"YES!" Johnny stood victorious above the others as the other chefs clapped in approval for Johnny's sesame seed burger.

Johnny: (Elated) WOO! BEST DISH OF THE NIGHT!

(END CONF)

"Congratulations Johnny, your dish goes on the bar menu AND you'll be safe from tonight's elimination." And as for us spirits? We get dinner, so overall; it's a winning situation. After giving thanks to the blue Jay for his helpful advice and judging, the chefs all headed back to the dorms to prepare themselves for service. "You alright man?" Anton asked Johnny, still incensed over winning immunity from elimination. "I need a moment man..." Johnny spoke in perhaps the quietest we'd ever seen him. He turned the other corner and headed to the porch.

(Confessional: THE FEELS! AND IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO EPISODES!)

Johnny: (Emotional) This win man...this was just, a surreal moment for me. Cooking isn't just some random hobby I picked up, this is my life. I put my heart and soul out there with those sliders...and now it's part of Hell's Kitchen's history...

Johnny stood up, cigarette on his hand; trying desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to overthrow his eyes. "Oh, fuck man..." Johnny nodded in disbelief, still quite deep in his thoughts of joy.

Johnny: And, hearing from someone who's been there before, knows what he's doing and went the distance; tell me, that I had a better dish than anyone else... (wipes away the tears with his sleeve) It just made it all the more rewarding, because I knew; that all those years of pushing myself, trying to be better than any pretty boy out there and working my ass off day in, day out had been worth it. (Sniff)

"I knew all those years being a burger chef would pay off sooner or later..." Johnny let out a heavy sigh that shook through his body like an earthquake. And he smiled as he did.

Johnny: ...I made it.

(END CONF)

Indeed he had.

Chapter 2- Act II: Opening Night Delight (And Fright)

One of the most joyful of moments for a spirit of Hell to experience is when the kitchen returns to life for the first time in many a month, bustling with chefs from both teams preparing their stations and holding themselves accountable for the battle within. No matter the case, the daily dinner services were always the main event of every night inside the kitchen of Hell. For one team, it would mean continuing their reign of terror, for another; it would be a chance to garner some level of revenge and dignity back. Sometimes they end up doing so bad that the great master Ramsay forces both of them to the execution penalty.

Or, if your like Russell; it means you get one more opportunity to see the strengths and weaknesses of your fellow chefs. So it goes, Russell silently watched all the chefs on his team on their respective stations, trying to think to himself. No one knew what it was he thinking or why he was thinking, but there he was, thinking and pondering to himself like a statue in a art museum.

And that did not go unnoticed. “Look at Russ, man.” Jackie motioned quietly to Sara to the unflinching look on the villain’s face, arms crossed and all. “What do you think he’s doing?” Sara asked. “Being bitter that his dish didn’t make the top five for his team probably.” Jackie assumed the obvious, Russell was known for being a pretty sore loser.

“I don’t know, maybe he’s needed tableside and he’s waiting further instructions?” Sara wondered, trying to be rational. But this is Jackie, and rational behavior is not exactly a concept she knows much about, if at all.

(Confessional: Boring yes, True? Probably)

Jackie: Sara, if you’re gonna be standing around my station; at least do me a favor and not be a total buzzkill.

(END CONF)

“Oh no, that’s not what’s happening.” Anton responded, jumping into the conversation. He extended his arm and pointed his finger to the face of Russell. “You see how his face is scrunched up like that? I’m no psychologist, but I believe that tells me that he’s either freezing to death or constipated.”

Jackie looked at Anton, what this donkey was talking about we were unsure of, but she only gave him a very flat “What?” Anton then proceeded to explain what different bathroom habits meant to other people for all of a few seconds. Then Russell noticed some noise, which was quickly deterred by Jackie and Sara hushing the New Jersian mayo sandwich. (Mayo sandwich- An insult used sparingly by Ramsay to explain how one chef is like everything and yet nothing at the same time. Case in point: Anton)

(Confessional: Anton...just, stop.)

Anton: I mean, it makes sense in context.

(No Anton. It does not. END CONF)

“So no constipation then?” Anton asked, Jackie shook her head; a resounding no. “Well then…” Anton stopped to think about what else Russell could be thinking about. “Maybe he’s thinking about his last will?” Ok, now Anton had be trolling. Why would Russell want to make a last will? “You know how sometimes when people get like that, they start thinking about what they would like to leave behind for all their friends and family when they-”

“Anton, what the fuck are you talking about?” Oh crap, Russell heard them. “I was talking about what-” Anton began to speak, Sara had to interrupt him. This was becoming an embarrassment too painful to watch. “He was talking about how awesome it was to be back in the kitchen after those years.” Russell showed little excitement to that prospect. “Yeah, sure. That’s nice.”

(Confessionals: Comedy and foreshadowing)

Jackie: Russell looks like he took too much nyquil, he’s frozen like a statue, he’s putting around like one of them golf carts old people like to drive, it’s like he doesn’t care.

Oh, but he did. For a very different reason however, as he continued to look at the cast of competitors he was dealing with. See, the runner-up had a plan...a wonderful plan...a wonderfully devious plan.

Russell: What these people don’t know is that I like to think ahead of the pack, and that includes black jackets; and i’m planning to take a few people with me all the way, and then when the time comes: I’ll screw them over just like how I got screwed last time around. I’ve already narrowed it down to three people; you’ve got Sabrina, who: Let’s be honest, is probably too immature to save her life and needs a mentor to keep her grounded, Bryant; another runner-up and someone who seems like a threat to my chances, and then you have Suzanne whose so certain about everything that she delves into being a teacher's pet. But i’ll keep watch for now, I’d rather not make a move too early into the game.

A page out of the Survivor manual book eh? Nice touch…

(END CONF)

10 Minutes Before Service:

The moment of truth was nigh upon our twenty veterans, all ready to show either they still had it in them after being gone for such a long time or ready to prove themselves that they had what it took to play with the big dogs. “Alright, line up, quickly now.” Ramsay ordered the teams into two straight lines of ten, all standing closely by listening to the great master’s words of encouragement and advice.

“Tonight, I am expecting a great welcome home service for you all…” Ramsay said. “Infact, I am so confident in each and every one of your abilities; that i’ve decided to guarantee that we will complete our service tonight.” It had only happened twice in HK history, a guaranteed complete opening night. And when it did, it was magical. “There’s one catch.” Of course, no one really thought Ramsay would let them off that easily. The Michelin star’ed chef would never allow such an act if there had not been as incentive.

“I expect you all to perform up to your absolute best and stop at nothing to complete this service, so I will be on your ass a lot more than I usually do. And if one of you even makes as much as ONE mistake, you’ll head for the dorms.” The line in the sand was drawn. “Above that, I want you all to be the dream team.”

“What do I want you to be?” Ramsay called, looking for an echoing response. “Be the dream team!” Ramsay liked the sound of it, but wanted to go further. “Louder!”

“BE THE DREAM TEAM!” There we go. “Get on your stations!” With Ramsay’s pre-service fireside chat over with, there was just one thing left to do…

“Marino,”

“Si chef?”

“Open Hell’s Kitchen, yes?”

“Subito.”

Service #1:

Now, at long last: The competition had truly begun as for the first time in what seemed like a distant eternity, there was life inside the kitchen. Not just from the stations ready to sing with pride on their backs and honor on their shoulders, but the many dining customers that would come to feast with us inside the playground of hell. Assuming they actually got their food.

And then: The big one, the very first ticket of the new season. “Alright, Blue team. First ticket, are you ready?”

“Yes chef!” They all called out. “That’s what I like to hear, on order: Table 12, two scallop, two cappellini, heard?”

“Yes chef!” The blue team responded, ready for active combat.

(Confessional: Back from the dead)

Josh: (Breathes in peacefully) Aaah man. First service back, on the fish station and I feel like i’m just gonna kill it tonight; the team wants me to set the stage for a good service and i’m gonna give it to them.

(END CONF)

“How long are we on scallops Josh?” Tenielle asked, the first hurdle ready to be crossed.

“One minute, how long for cappellini?” Josh answered back.

“Right around the same time!” Rochelle agreed on the time, communication holding steady.

(Confessional: So far so good…)

Tenielle: We’re flying through these apps, we ain’t letting anything get in our way and it’s gonna show when we take down the red team!

(END CONF)

“Walking with cappellini!” Rochelle headed up to the pass, “Walking with scallops!” Josh joined the cappellini with his scallops, all set to begin the first service of the year on a good note; all that was needed was Chef Ramsay’s approval…

And then it came back. At least, the scallops did. “The first ticket!” Ramsay hollered. “The very first ticket, and I get raw scallops! Who cooked these?” Ramsay demanded an explanation for the undone fish appetizer. “I did Chef!” Josh answered. But something unusual happened, Ramsay didn’t shout back. In fact, he actually smiled. It wasn’t a big smile, but it was noticeable enough that they could see it. “Come here you…” Ramsay ushered the poor sap next to him, for he had something very special to say to him. And in a low whisper, he said to Josh.

“It’s good to have the old you back. It really is.” Not the greatest of back-handed compliments, but at least it was...something. And for a while, Josh stood there dumbfounded on what his next orders were. “Do you want me to start again?” He asked the grand master, there were only two simple words he had to say to him. “Get out.” And that’s exactly what he did.

(Confessional: Some records aren’t meant to be good)

Josh: (Sheepish) I was the first chef to be fired during a service, now I’m the first chef to be thrown out on the first ticket. (Defacating smile) Man, the hits just keep on coming!

(END CONF)

“Vinny, get on the fish station!” Ramsay called on the Queens native to take the reins on the fish. “Yes chef!” Vinny took the challenge and headed onward, ready to go on patrol for scallops. Not even one ticket in, and already the blue team had fallen behind the count. There was a hint of good news though, “Rochelle, that cappellini was delicious.” Ramsay told her. “Thank you chef!”

(Confessionals: Start again with a new slate)

Rochelle: I know Josh doesn’t have the best reputation in Hell’s Kitchen, but I just couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy; getting thrown out of service on just the first ticket hurts a lot.

Hurt as it did, it did at least prove that Josh -even if his cooking had improved- was still a donkey. And likely always will be.

But what about Vinny? The new man on the fish station, he’d fried scallops many times before. They looked simple enough, just flipping them over when one side is at a proper color. But there was more, so more much more to a scallop than you would think. You also had to oil the pan properly, time your flips properly and among other things commute with both app stations.

Vinny: We barely even got started and already we’re in a sewer. Now I have to go out there and save the day for everyone.

“Scallops, walking!” Vinny would bring up the second attempt of scallops for Jamie and Ramsay to inspect. Would it be a fruitful recovery or another swing and miss? “Vinny!” Ramsay called, ready to give a verdict on the new and supposedly improved scallops…

“Very nice.” Ramsay then said, a passing grade! “Thank you Chef!” Vinny responded, his work ethic coming to the rescue.

Vinny: That’s right, you can call me Super-Vinny or Chef Man, Scallop Savior or whatever; no matter what, i’ll be here cooking like mad and hounding on all of ya asses.

(END CONF)

With the blue team recovering from a slippery start, the red team had already gotten a head start and served a few appetizers. Sara and Anton doing a good job with the salads and pizza, Jackie finally getting something right with the risotto, cappellini and Bryant having just served up a perfect plate of scallops. 

By now, you will have noticed that there was one name missing from the lineup for appetizers, Jen. Now why was that? Jen being absent seemed a little bizarre coming from someone who had previously been a part of the black jacket squadron on her season. What had she done to deserve such a fate? Well, as it would turn out; the red team would soon find out.

“Red team!” A disturbed Ramsay brought them all together for the same reason. “I have risotto with so much garlic even a vampire would find it excessive!” Ah yes, the old garlicky risotto. We still have memories of Sharon’s risotto that nearly poisoned our dear master and undisputed legend. Thankfully, it was not in that same category as her’s, even so: It was reeking of garlic beyond realism. “That’s on me, Chef!” Jen announced much to the contempt of Chef Ramsay. “That’s on you?”

“Yes Chef.”

In her defense, we spirits do believe that it was very noble of Jen to realize her error and come clean with it. Unfortunately for her, everything that followed was not. “I bring you back, and the best you can serve me is a garlicky risotto?” And then Jen said the words that would snowball everything for her short lived service.

“No Chef, I’ll start a new one as soon as I get another pan.” Ramsay stared at her long and hard, serving a risotto with insufficient seasoning control was one thing; declaring that won’t cook anything else until you get another pan was another thing. “There are dozens of pans in front of you, just grab one and start cooking with it!”

“No can do, I have to make sure they have the right feel to them.” The right feel she says. Now what in the name of Ramsay did she mean by that you wonder? Even Ramsay looked confused by this exclamation. “The right WHAT?!” He cried. “The right feel, If they don’t feel like they want to cooperate; I ain’t using it and these pans, they don’t look like they want to cooperate!”

(Confessionals: Right or wrong, this twit is gone)

Jen: Everybody’s all like, ‘You need to balance the seasoning to ensure a solid risotto’ and i’m here asking why no one’s ever thought of the fact that maybe the risotto’s being jacked up by the pan?

There was only one thing Ramsay could say to Jen’s bizarre and insanely wrong statement.

“Get out!” And that was that. Jen was casualty number two of the night as she left with a huff. The volatile chef would then deliver another message to the red team. “I don’t give a fuck if you can somehow talk to pans like Belle from Beauty and the Beast, if you give me shit like that; you can fuck off! Do you understand?”

The remaining seven (Russell was still out, serving tableside flambe alongside Elsie) cried out, “Yes chef!” as Ramsay looked on, aggravated that someone would be this idiotic as to not trust the pans to cook their dishes right.

Sabrina: And from there, it was like Big Brother was watching us or something because we knew that if one of us screwed up, we would be in the dorms with egg in our face or something.

(END CONF)

Speaking of the flambe, how was Russell faring on this special task? Up to this point things had gone very well for him as he had dazzled patrons with his mastery in cooking and softening his personality to better suit the dining environment. He also knew that his team were stalled bad when he saw Jen getting thrown out. “Looks like someone just got done being yelled at…” Russell mentioned to himself.

(Confessional: Well it’s not like you’re any better)

Russell: The majority of my team have all this experience ahead of them, even get applauded as veterans or even all-stars. But none of them deliver, they’re wannabes. The entire lot of them.

(END CONF)

Well thirty minutes in, already two were sitting pretty in the dorms; in more light and impressive news, most of the appetizers had at this point come out without any major incident or ejections and the guests were all enjoying their food. Thus, we segway into the second part of service: Entrees. Yes, even though some tables still had appetizers waiting to be dished out; the first of many entree orders had officially into the kitchen. So who received the first order for food this time?

“Red team, first entrees: Table 6. On order, two chicken, two beef wellington, Heard?”

“Yes chef!” Suzanne and Johnny answered the call. “Right, just follow my lead; and we’ll ace this.” Johnny would then tell his partner in crime for the day Suzanne. “Got it man.”

(Confessionals: Bossy girl wants help?! SOUND THE TRUMPETS!)

Suzanne: Normally, I’m the one that takes care of a station; but tonight i’m on the meat station and last time I was here: It was NOT my friend.

Hey, tell us spirits something we do not realize, we are quite thirsty for knowledge you know.

Yes, of all the stations she had worked on: The one where she had her weakest performances was always the meat station. Even when she struggled on other stations on other nights, this was the station above all others that frustrated her the most. Very unsurprising all things considered as that station was usually considered by all to be the most challenging.

Even so, there was hope for optimism.

Suzanne: Luckily, I’m paired up with Johnny and he seems to know a little bit on how to cook meat if his bar menu dish was anything to go by; so I think i’ll be alright.

Such an opportunity comes very rarely inside Hell’s Kitchen and it’s nigh unthinkable once down to but a handful of competitors. So it only made sense that Johnny would relish in the moment while it lasted…

Heh, get it? Relish? As in the condiment? (Somewhere in the distance, a cricket is singing a song)

Ok, we’ll stop now.

Johnny: Getting tasked to work with a black jacket chef, that’s a big deal. Working on the meat station as well? That’s a dream come true. Meat is my thing and i’ve been chosen to show a former black jacket how I roll!

“Remember, be on that chicken’s ass until all its feathers come off!” That friends was chef talk for ‘Watch your chicken until it’s warm enough to cut.’ “Heard.” Suzanne replied, using the language known to us as English.

Johnny: I’ve already showed them that I can cook, if I can show them I can lead a station too i’ll be the one to beat!

(END CONF)

“Steady...steady…Alright, that’s perfect!” Johnny gave the greenlight to the chicken, which at this point had been heated and cut as steady and gently as possible. With meat set to head for the pass, all that was left was garnish. “How long on garnish Lacey?” Johnny asked coordinator number #2 and everything was going great...except, for one thing. Lacey herself. “W-what?” Lacey asked quietly, she had fallen behind despite having been told how long it would be until the meat was ready. And now, she was paying the price for it. “C’mon girl, we need an answer!”

“One minute?” Lacey responded, shaking slightly. This too did not go unnoticed. “You ok, Lacey?” Suzanne asked, showing slight concern for her fellow team mate. “Uh...yeah! Totally!” Lacey faked a smile, telling a brilliant white lie.

(Confessional: But Suzanne knows better than THAT! She knows EVERYTHING!)

Suzanne: Lacey was in the weeds from the very moment service started,

And it showed, sensing doubt in Lacey; she opted to step over to her station, ready to see what was the matter whether she wanted it or not. “Suzanne, i’m being serious-”

“So is everyone else” Suzanne whispered back, looking at garnish. Feeling agitated over being interrupted, Lacey raised her voice slightly “But, it’s true! I know what i’m-”

And just like that, Lacey was shushed. “Do you want to get us all in trouble?” Lacey stammered. “N-no! I-”

“Then let me help you.” Lacey sighed, they were never going to get the entree out if they kept going around in a circle. So she stepped back and let Suzanne check garnish. It was a tedious process, everything had to be perfect so it could meet Ramsay’s incredibly high standards. There were moments where Lacey wanted to jump back in.

Lacey: I’m watching Suzanne work on my station, and i’m asking myself quietly when I can go back in. I mean, it’s my station!

...Then why don’t you TELL her instead of letting her just take over? You’re supposed to be the leader here, not her. But no, her perpetual silence and incompetence had forced Suzanne to watch whatever garnish there was in the hopes that she at least was trying to get it right. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity; we had a consensus.  
“No worries guys, just needs another minute.” Lacey sighed again, this time in relief.

Lacey: I told you I had it under control!

Yeah, we believe you.

(END CONF)

So with an assist from someone else, the red team rolled on with their entrees; everything going swimmingly to them. But back at the blue team, someone was drowning on the meat station despite her best efforts. And as she saw the lamb running back to the kitchen, she knew right there that she had goofed it up somehow. “Hey, all of you.” Ramsay called out, infuriated with the state of the lamb. “ALL OF YOU!” Ramsay shouted, that got them over to see what had happened. “Look at what I have over here...Lamb so fucking limp it’s less durable than a quarterback in the NFL!”

He demanded the name of the donkey who messed with the lamb to the point of limpness. “That was me chef.” Roshni came clean with her failure. “Sheep must REALLY love you then!” Ramsay answered back, he would then give her and one more person a special command to follow. “Hassan, you’re finished with cold apps?”

“Yes chef.” Hassan nodded. “Get on the meat station, and as for you…” Our illustrious master turned to the Canadian Indian, ready to unleash his full anger over her. “Do me a big favor, take your limping lamb to surgery and FUCK OFF TO THE DORMS!” Roshni nodded, ashamed of her lamb and her pitiful performance and walked solemnly off to the dorms where two others waited for her.

(Confessional: Eeesh…)

Roshni: I’ve been through this before, and it never seems to get any less embarassing every time I get told to leave my station.

(END CONF)

Well at least she had someone to greet her on the way in. “You too?” Josh asked a dejected Roshni. “Yeah…”

“What crime did you commit?” Jen pondered, “A case of limp lamb.” Roshni bluntly answered. Both cringed at the thought of such a concoption.

Back with the blue, Hassan was given his first commands from Bobby. “All right, we need a new lamb, what’s your time?”

“I can have another one ready as soon as five minutes.” Hassan quickly answered. “That’s good.”

(Confessional: Here he come to save the day!)

Hassan: The meat station needed someone to take control, and it just so happened that I was chosen to help lead it, so...sorry Roshni; but it’s time to let a professional show you how it’s done.

“The minutes passed by quickly, and by the time the lamb was ready; it was up to the pass and inspected by Ramsay. By that timb, the halibut had all but been prepared itself and would be next to be watched over. “Hassan…” Hassan looked at the great master, waiting to hear his response, “Cooked perfectly.” Hassan smiled. “Thank you Chef!”

Hassan: And THAT is how you run your meat station!

(END CONF)

“And the halibut…” Ramsay and Jamie looked at what had happened with the fish while the meat was struggling to get by. “Hero to zero, the bastard went and became…” Jamie shook his head and whispered to Ramsay. Guess what happened next? Yep, the fish swam back to the kitchen. “Wonder how that happened..." Vinny grumbled. “Yeah, I wonder myself.” Ramsay agreed with him on that front, “You save us on scallops, but then you…”

SPLAT!

“...FUCK US OVER ON FISH!” Ramsay shouted as the fish was squashed into nothing but squishy little pieces. “You have anything to say that?”

“Chef, if I had known that someone was going to take the meat station over: Then I would have been told so.” For the 80th time tonight (and that is a small number for him), Ramsay looked at someone like as if he had been personally insulted. “I told everyone on the team that Hassan was taking over for her in clear detail; if you’re telling me I need to explain things like Dora the Explorer-”

“Absolutely not Chef, what i’m saying is that I should have gotten a heads-up before hand!” Vinny explained what was wrong with Ramsay’s thinking; or at least, what he thought was wrong. Take a guess as to what happened next. “Get out!” That is correct, yet another eviction from the kitchen to the dorms. And thus Vinny’s fall from grace from the fish station was complete.

“Next time you want to be a goldfish, i’ll treat you like one, YOU HEAR ME?!” Ramsay hollered at an already irritated Vinny. “Yes Chef!” (Goldfish- Someone of poor communication and constantly needs to be reminded of things)

“NOW FUCK OFF TO THE DORMS, GOLDFISH!” And that exactly is what he did.

(Confessional: Oh how thy mighty hath fallen)

Vinny: I don’t get consistency sometimes, how do I go from producing amazing scallops to be told that i’m some sort of weird, small fish? That just doesn’t sound right to me.

(END CONF)

Ramsay muttered something to himself, so quiet it was that it was nigh comprehendable. But whatever it was, it was but glorious. He would then break from his thoughts and called for “Elsie!” to come over. “Oh dear…” Elsie shrugged. “I’d better get going, Ramsay’s gonna be upset at me if I don’t!”

(Confessional: Super Mom rises from the ashes!)

Elsie: Vinny’s gone, Josh was long out of the dorm. So, I guess that makes me three’s charm or something like that. (Chuckles to herself)

(END CONF)

“On the fish madame, understood?” Ramsay wanted an answer, perhaps a chance for someone to finally get the station right?

“Yes Chef!” Elsie got straight to work, ready to tangle a bad situation for her team, but back with the red…

“One cod, two lamb! Heard?”

“Yes chef!” Music to the ears of Chef Ramsay. “Alright, let me know when I can drop the cod!” Bryant was all but eager to get the show on the road. “Three minutes sound good?” Johnny asked. “I can work with that!” Bryant smirked. The villains team was on an impressive roll so far in the early going, with most of their appetizers having been served to grateful diners and fantastic entrees being hammered out by Suzanne, Johnny and Bryant. To them, they were the New York Yankees looking for yet another championship to add to their infinite list of trophies.

And Bryant was the captain that was going to lead them there.

(Confessionals: Bryant seems more of a A-Rod than a Jeter to me…)

Bryant: (Confident) This station should be a walk. I’ve cooked cod, you’ve probably cooked a cod, shit; we’ve all probably cooked a cod at some point in our lives! So what could be so hard in cooking such a simple cod?

“Lamb, in hand!” First twas Suzanne…

“Walking with the cod!” Then followed Bryant…

Then came the true test. Ramsay started with the lamb as it had come first. “Who cooked the lamb?”

“I did Chef.” Sounded like Suzanne… “Very nice.” Ramsay gave a rare compliment. “Thank you Chef.” Suzanne responded in kind.

Suzanne: At this point, we’re just cruising through the meat; lamb, beef, chicken, doesn’t matter: That station has been ours from the word go.

“And now the cod…” Ramsay watched the cod as it slipped away, not a good sign. Bryant had at this point started on the next order when Ramsay brought the Cod over. “Red. TEAM!”

“Yo...what the fuck is this?” Bryant sighed. “I should be asking you the same question.” The other red team members looked on in shock, Bryant: A runner up and usually fantastic chef and commander of a team, had codded up the cod. “I don’t expect raw cod from someone your caliber!”

“I know you don’t Chef!” Bryant responded in kind. “Then why send it to me then?!”

“That’s on me.” Bryant smirked. The dumbass he was. “That’s on me?” Ramsay asked, very blasé. “That’s on me.”

“Well at least you’re honest.” Ramsay rolled his eyes, even if he had admitted his mistake: He still had to do his job. “But now let me be honest with you, get out, fuck off; Jackie, you’re on the fish station.” And with that, Bryant walked off from his station in haste; leaving Jackie to fill the void that had made everyone their conceited and arrogant lady (referred to by humans as a ‘bitch’) up to this point.

Bryant: (irritated) You for real man? I just got dumped for some dumbass who didn’t even fucking make black jackets, that shit doesn’t fly with me!

Maybe Bryant was sore about losing his place, but Jackie wasn’t complaining.

Jackie: Bryant, how did you become runner-up last time? Oh gee, I don’t know; maybe the field was shit and you were fed with a silver spoon up ya ass or something, I dunno. In any case, thanks for the station!

(END CONF)

Yet that wasn’t the end of it. “W-what?” Lacey started to stutter a little. “But Bryant was-”

“Yo, forget about Bryant; that guy did fuck all for us, now I’m in charge and you’re gonna have to deal with it.” The ever so modest Jackie explained. “But I-” Lacey was once again interrupted by Suzanne, at least trying to be encouraging. “Look girl, don’t worry about it. Just focus on your station!” That settled her down again.

But that still was not the end of the riot, as out in the dining hall; Marino had just found out a terrible secret from one of the salads given to some patrons. “Ooh, minga...that sticks like a sore thumb.” Marino winced and offered to take it back to see if it could be replaced with something else. “On order, two salmon, one chicken mid well, one mash, one baby carrot!”

“Chef,” Marino came up to Ramsay, the grave situation at hand. “Oh what now Marino?” Marino told him of the issue that was with the salad and Ramsay offered to look at it. And as he did, he was horrified by what he saw. “Holy fuck…” It was a ghastly site, one that he had never hoped to see again. But to no avail, for today; he had been exposed to one of the most amateurish, embarassing and downright pathetic mistakes one could make while working on a salad…

Neglecting to leave out a butt of lettuce. “STOP!” Ramsay shouted at the red team, pissed off as he ever was before and placed the salad bowl in the front of the kitchen for all the world to see, like it was Simba from the Lion King or something. “I didn’t think I’d ever find myself in a situation like this again, but somehow we did!”

And while it was out there, one chef looked on uneasily; realizing that he had goofed up in a rather humiliating fashion. “Which one of you disgusting pigs served a butt of lettuce?” For a while, there was a silence. No one wanted to take responsibility for ruining such a good plate of salad. At least, until someone did. “My apologies Chef, I did not see it, I did not know it there.” Anton apologized, wholeheartedly.

SMASH! Down went the salad, and a plate suddenly passed away that night due to the immortal one’s vicious reflexes, the height from which it fell from and how fast it did so. Anton braced for impact, he knew what was coming. But all of a sudden, Ramsay calmed down, almost to to a civil tone. “Anton. Answer me this.” Anton listened to what Ramsay had to say. “Why in the name of fuck are YOU SUCH a DONKEY?!” Ramsay’s voice raised to a considerably loud tone.

“Gotta have standards man!” Suzanne was quick to preach. “You, shut your mouth.” Ramsay demanded from her, “And you, fuck off out of here and get upstairs!” Anton shook his head and walked away, the embarrassment over with. “Oh no, him too?!” Lacey whimpered. “Madame, you think now’s a good time to pee your knickers, you belong back in preschool!” Ramsay left one parting blow and started to head for the blue team.

But that still was not the end of the riot. “Chef,” Sara then asked. “I think maybe you should leave Anton off the hook.” T’was an honorable thing for Sara to try and come in the defense of Anton. What she next however was anything but. “See, I knew that there was a butt of lettuce; but I didn’t get the chance to tell him until too late, I hope you understand.”

Oh yes, he understood.

“Get out!” Ramsay shouted, and off Sara went; leaving only six for the red team.

(Confessional: Aw shucks!)

Sara: All I was trying to do was come to the defense of someone, that’s all. If you don’t like it, then I’m sorry: Y’all are just going to have to deal with it.

(END CONF)

“Does this have to happen literally every other second?!” Oh for Ramsay’s sake, Lacey was once again in a tizzy over an ejection. “Jesus!” She shook her head and looked at her garnish, “Force me to be on my ass will you?” She muttered in her own pity.

But with the blue team, there were other issues they had to deal with. “One wellington, mid rare; one mash!” Yet another order was called for Bobby, Hassan and Sterling. “Alright, are we good with wellington?” Hassan called on the four star general for a response. “In the oven, should be good to go in about three minutes at worst!” Bobby declared, he had been a strong performer all night. “Excellent, Sterling; how long are we for garnish?” Now Hassan had turned his attention to Mr. 100, awaiting his response. “Uh...I think I might be a lil’ short…” Sterling chose his words carefully.

“Oh no…” Ramsay sighed. Why now of all times when they were only a few tickets away from completing a service was this of all things happening? “Blue team! You’ve been so good up to this point, don’t screw it up now!”

“Yes chef!” Bobby, Hassan and Sterling agreed, not wanting to ruin their solid service.

(Confessionals: Mashing away at a good service)

Sterling: Mashed potatoes were real popular today. Like, real popular. Like, sweet Jesus, they love their potatoes beaten up.

Bobby came over to garnish without haste and looked at what little mashed potato they had left, it looked like there wouldn't be enough to finish service. But Bobby didn’t plan on lying down after all he had done for his team, no sir, “Looks like you’ll have enough for at least two more tables,” Bobby first got the bad news out of the way, then proceeded to more good news. “But I think if I hurry, I can make at least enough mash to last us the rest of the service. Is that good?”

“I appreciate it.” Sterling smiled, thanking god that he was surrounded by a strong core to help him.

Bobby: Sterling needed my help, so I came in, worked some of my magic and saved the day. It’s as simple as that.

“Hassan, how long are we on wellies?”

“Ninety seconds!”

“Excellent, excellent!” The four star general had cast a spell on not just the meat station but now the garnish station as he commanded his troops while also working on some new mash. Eventually, it was ready to head out into the dining hall and onto Ramsay. “Wellington, walking!” Hassan called.

“Mash walking!” Sterling announced as well. “Mash in the window,” Sterling would then tell Ramsay. The only thing left to do was wait, and pray to God that Ramsay did not come back with anything…

“Nice work on the mash, Sterling!”

“Thank you Chef!” Sterling’s contributions would not be for waste...

“Who cooked the wellington?”

“I did Chef!” Bobby answered, hoping that he would pass the crucial test of Ramsay’s palate.

“It’s cooked perfectly.” Glory to Bobby, Hallelujah to a great leader. “Thank you chef!”

Bobby: (Excited) Woo! Now you see, that’s what happens when you use teamwork. You work your way out of a potential disaster!

“Alright, nice work y’all; Now let's push it to another gear!” Bobby told the others, ready to attack whatever ticket they made have had next.

Sterling: Bobby went and saved us from being caught with our pants down, it was like we were some sort of super group called the hundred percent four star generals or something like that!

(END CONF)

With disaster once seeming inevitable now averted, it was now time for Lacey to impress from the other team...assuming if she had stopped panicking by now. “Alright, someone tell me if this is warm enough…”

Being the only one not busy with much of anything, Sabrina quickly volunteered, running up to the station and looking the situation. “You have the green bean garnish set up?”

“I think so…” Sabrina took one glance at the green beans and immediately noticed something was wrong. “Girl, those beans look like they’ve moved to Kuwait or something. Might wanna start a new batch.” Sabrina suggested to her less than optimistic station partner.

“Oh…” She started to groan again. “That’s what I was afraid of!”

“No no, don’t worry about them; just throw them away and start a new batch.” Sabrina told her and tried to get the pan. “Sabrina, I got this-”

“Lacey, I need the pan-”

“But it’s my station, I need to take control of it-”

“I understand that, that shit’s great; but you’re gonna need to accept some help eventually!” And thus, our first miscommunication moment of the season. Lacey and Sabrina continued their little debate over who should take the pan of beans that were sitting over looking more dehydrated than a black souffle. And it hadn’t gone unnoticed by the great master.

“Hey, I hear lots of arguing and not enough cooking; Maybe the two of you can stop your petty high school argument over that boy who kissed both of you and decide who it is that’s going to take control of this station?” Ramsay ordered the two most popular girls at school.

And then...this happened.

“You know what, if you want this station so badly; you can have it!” Lacey spat out, throwing her pan back onto the stove and started to head for the dorms. “Wha- Lacey!” Sabrina looked on along with the rest of what was left with the red team, shocked that someone would just quit on the team like that. “Oh that’s not a bad sign at all…” Johnny muttered sarcastically to himself.

(Confessionals: Fine! You wanna be that way? Be that way!)

Jackie: Lacey got up, in near tears and just walked right out of here. All because she didn’t want someone to help her. That’s some childish shit over there.

Sabrina started to run after her, hoping to perform some rousing speech that would save the day or something like that.

Sabrina: And I just start running towards her, because if you think i’m gonna let her fall because I didn’t want to give her a hand: Hell no, that’s not how I roll.

But by the time she had reached the dreaded closet of doom, it was too late. Lacey had already made her way to the dorms, young and angry at the world around her. “Lacey!” Sabrina called out in vain, she continued her pace towards the lost cause until she finally catched a glimpse of her. “Lacey, you can’t walk on us now…” Sabrina tried to calm herself to better serve the situation. Needless to say, Lacey was not much of a buyer. “Why?! So you can just boss me around all day?”

Lacey: I lost whatever respect I had for Sabrina today…

“No girl, I just want to help you out.” For once Sabrina was not starting a fight and rather, trying to help a fellow villain in need. That is, if she was willing to take it. “How is trying to take my station ‘helping’?!”

“Lacey…”

Lacey: That bitch wants to make herself the leader so badly, she can take that job and put it somewhere where maybe it can be useful.

“Lacey, listen to me.” Sabrina said, trying to stay as calm as possible. “I am not trying to take your station, I am here to help you finish service because we need you and-”

“Oh, here we go again with the ‘we need you’ bullshit.”

“Lacey, I-”

“Screw this, and screw you.” And with that, Lacey stomped away in a huff and left Sabrina in a state of shock.

Sabrina: I mean, all I was trying to do was help her and she just starts giving me attitude. And it wasn’t a flashy, sexy, let your hair down type of attitude.

(END CONF)

Once Lacey was gone, Sabrina stayed silent for a few seconds more...

And then proceeded to slowly walk up the stairs.

But for the red kitchen, the shock of what had just occurred was still prevelant; now added to the fact that Sabrina had seemingly away.

“So we can assume she’s not coming back?” Jackie asked.

“Guess not…” Suzanne assumed the worst. 

“Yeah, they’re gone. The principal took them away and suspended them for rough housing.” Ramsay made light of the situation,

And Johnny? Well, he just stayed silent.

(Confessional: Surely this will not come back to bite him in the ass)

Johnny: That just pissed me off to no end. You do NOT walk out of a kitchen when things are going wrong, you stick through it and tough it out. What she did was an insult, not just to me; but all of us that want to win this thing.

(END CONF)

“Johnny? You still alive in there?” Suzanne tried to get his attention, but by that point; he was a knee deep into his thoughts, leaving her high and dry. With Johnny out of commission, Suzanne shrugged and decided that she was confident enough to send a meal dish up all by herself…

Ah, what a naive lass she was.

“Lamb, walking.” It was at that moment that Johnny woke away from his thoughtful coma and realized what was happening. “Wait...lamb…”

And then, panic time. “Wait Suzanne! Don’t give him that-” But it was too late. “...lamb…”

Well, the sheering was screwed to the point of being unrecognizable; and once it returned from the pass, the red team knew what the end result of it would be. “Just by LOOKING at the lamb, what can you tell me?”

“It’s uneven.”

“Gold star…” Ramsay shook his head, the red team had completely spun off the track and had been castrated of nearly all of their team members, and now; it was time to castrate two more miserable souls.

(Confessional: The snitch of ditch, by Johnny McSuess)

Johnny: Please don’t fuck me, PLEASE don’t fuck me…

“I tried to get a hold of Johnny so he could check on it, didn’t even hear me.”

Johnny: ...And she fucked me…

At least you have the bar menu item to be proud of?

(END CONF)

“I mean, I would have if something hadn’t taken up my mind but-” Ramsay stopped his excuse for insufficient communication. “Yeah, I don’t want to hear it.” He said, shoving the uneven pieces of lamb onto Johnny’s hands. “You have a bar menu item, you have a good signature dish, you even manage to lead your station up to this point; now you can do one more thing for me.”

We spirits believe you can guess what happens next.

“Take that and her and fuck off out of here, get out!” And that was the end of Johnny and Suzanne’s valiant but inevitably doomed efforts.

Jackie took a glance at all the stations, noticing that everyone had gone. Every last member of the red team (besides Russell) who was out there earlier had at this point made their way into the crowded dorms. “So uh...where’d everyone go?” Jackie asked herself, still fishing for good, crispy salmon.

(Confessionals: Heaven help us all…)

Jackie: It was at that point, I started to think: Oh SHIT. Am I the last one here?

“Jackie!” Ramsay told her. “It’s up to you to finish this service! Are you up to the challenge?”

“Yes chef!”

“Then can I have two salmon, one lamb and one green bean sider?”

“On it chef!”

Jackie: And from that point on, I just had a spark up my ass and it was telling me to go all in.

Jackie flew through every station there was to fly to, Fish station, meat station, garnish station, doesn’t matter what station it was. Whatever station she found herself in, she was in. “Jackie!” Christina decided to jump in to give her extra encouragment. “You haven’t acted out once tonight, don’t stop now!” And she didn’t, she kept going...and going...and going still until she had finished the entire order.

She hurried to the pass, everything in her hands. “Walking with wellies, salmon and...screw it, walking with everything!” And there it was. Jackie, the obnoxious, loud mouthed girl from New Jersey stood as perhaps the last great hope for the Red Team. Ramsay and Christina took a careful approach to looking at the order, making sure everything was perfect. The air was tense, near silent even. Jackie could barely stand to watch. Finally, Ramsay turned around and gave his final judgements, “That…

…

…

was commitment at it’s finest. Great job Jackie.”

“Thank you Chef” Jackie said. She had done it! By some miracle, she had finished an entire order all by herself. And she wasn’t done yet, she would have to hold on to this for three tables more.

(Confessionals: But there was much rejoicing)

Jackie: FUCK YEAH! THAT’S HOW WE DO IT IN NEW JERSEY.

In the end, with everything said and done, and with the final entrees being served to patrons, customers and diners everywhere: The first service would go down as a service not without it’s peaks and valleys, but nonetheless a very successful and very productive one.

“Service please?” Ramsay told one of the waiters as the last ticket from the blue and red kitchens left. A symbolic moment it was when both kitchens finished an opening night. “Blue team, switch off yes?” The blue team heard him loud and clear, “Yes chef!”

“Jackie,” Ramsay ushered her to him and Christina. “Great job tonight. Now, I want you to keep this momentum going for as long as you can.”

“Believe me Chef, I’m gonna be holding on for a long time.” Jackie smirked, an elusive genuine comment from her mouth as she high fived Christina and concluded a feat only two chefs prior to her had completed: Finishing a service all alone.

Jackie: Last one standing, they thought I was a joke, they thought I wouldn’t make it past a day: Guess who just finished your service? THAT’S RIGHT, ME.

(END CONF, TURN THE FLAMES OFF)

The fire was doused for the night, the first and most chaotic service of the season was finished with for yet another year. And all of the chefs were joined together in two straight file lines, one red, one blue. Ready for Ramsay’s post-mortem and declaration of a winning team. But first, some important news.

“I would like to start by saying, that this season: I will be bringing back the Best of the Worst label and will be awarding it to the best performer of the losing team. Understood?”

“Yes Chef”

“Right...I expected more chefs to be in here rather than in the dorms, but nonetheless; we did complete dinner service, so there will be a winning team.”

So you now ask yourself, “Well, who won?” To that, the answer is: Be patient thy little brats and let the great master speak.

“Based on everything I saw, there was one team that showed consistency, teamwork and more importantly leadership more than the other. And that team was…

…

…

The blue team.” The blue team clapped, proud of their performance and ready for more wins to come their way.

“Red team.” Ramsay looked at the losing team, dejected and bummed out from the defeat. “By the end of the service, only one of you remained in the kitchen. Jackie.”

Jackie smiled. “You stayed with it all through the night and didn’t give up. For that, you are the best of the worst.”

“Thank you Chef”

“Now, time for you to do something you’re all familiar with.” Yes, it was. It was time to chew away on the dead weight for the team. “I need two nominees from the red team. Now fuck off.”

“Yes Chef” And off they went to the dorms, the blue team would be celebrating their first win; but the red team would choose who it was that would have the unfortunate distinction of being the first kicked out of Hell’s Kitchen: Heroes vs Villains.

Chapter 2: Act III- I love a good catfight!

The red team sat together near the chairs and couches, all ready to decide who they would put up. Jackie, ready to lead the proceedings.

(Confessional: Good to see you’re taking this seriously)

Jackie: I was better than any of these people tonight. Doesn’t make me the best overall, but for tonight; I’m playing God so they’d better watch out.

(END CONF)

“So, I’m just gonna go over everything I saw today and give out some of my thoughts.” Jackie told her team, reserved and willing to decide.

“Johnny, Suzanne, I think you guys were doing really good up to the point communication broke down between the both of you.” Johnny and Suzanne nodded, out of the red team; besides Jackie, they had the best performance of the night.

“Sabrina, you didn’t really get to anything, so you’re safe as well…” Sabrina’s arms were folded. Despite being called safe, she was not pleased with the way it came about for her. “ And Russell, you were banging out flambes left and right, I commend you for that.” Russell smirked smugly, he was very much certain of his safety.

“Bryant...I mean, i’m still a little concerned about how you’re gonna perform at crunch hour; but, you did at least get us through apps so I guess you’re good too.” Bryant saw this as no cause to celebrate. For someone like him, a performance like that was embarrassing. But perhaps, nowhere near as embarrassing as the four who now stood beside her. “So, that leaves with four choices...Anton, Sara, Jen and Lacey. We agreed?” Everyone nodded.

(Confessional: The Russell man approves)

Russell: All four of them had a terrible service. It’s was like they weren’t even trying they were so bad. I wouldn’t hire any of them even if my father was been threatened with gun, that’s how bad they are.

(END CONF)

“I’ve seen Season 5 and what happened with the salad there, so let me just say right now; Anton and Sara should be up based on their lettuce butt incident.” Johnny gave out his opinion. “Well now, wait a minute!” Anton persisted. “It’s not like I KNEW that there was a lettuce butt in there.”

“Would you serve it if it did?” Bryant asked.

“See, if there was a lettuce butt in a salad-” Anton tried to go on a long, lengthy lecture; but at this point, the fingers of our nonexistent spirit hands are wearing out so it didn’t happen either way. Bryant then stopped Anton right in his tracks. “No, i’m asking you a question bro; would you serve a salad with a butt of lettuce in it?”

“No I would not.” Anton quickly said. That proved it, Anton was clean.

(Confessional: An innocent man no longer proven guilty)

Anton: All of these people were wanting my ass to go up there because I had a ‘butt of lettuce’ that I didn’t even know was there. Here’s my question: If you didn’t even know it was there to begin with, does it even count to begin with? (Beat) Yeah, a lil’ something to think about.

(END CONF)

“Well what about Sara then?” Sabrina asked. “She was the one that sort of started this mess to begin with.”

“And I apologize,” Sara started by saying, and then completely changed the subject. “But I believe I still a strong enough player that I can learn from that mistake and move on from it. And besides, Lacey quit on us.” She was right. Lacey was a hot mess from start to finish, being slow, insufficient, sometimes unresponsive and eventually, she walked out and forced someone else to join her to the dorms.

(Confessional: Wanna bet?)  
Lacey: (annoyed) Fuck you too bitch, I don’t care about you; I just want to be useful to the team is all.

(END CONF)

“Guys, I know I screwed you guys over big tonight,” The tear drop soup instinctively went on the defensive. (Teardrop Soup- A whiny, overly dramatic chef who will storm off and throw a temper tantrum if things don’t go her way) “But I just want you to know, I didn’t quit on myself and in the end; that’s what should really matter. Right?”

“You walked out in the middle of service though, that’s pretty major.” Suzanne commented, delivering a few nods much to Lacey’s irritation.

(Confessional: Hot messes and cold shoulders, I don’t know which one is worse…)

Suzanne: It was unacceptable of Lacey just to walk out on us like that. Absolutely unacceptable.

(END CONF)

“Look, if you want to put me up, Fine, whatever. But if you want my opinion, I think Jen should go up there because she thought the pan controlled the risotto.”

Oh our sweet innocent Lacey. It appears that you do not know the basic nature of the Jen, for when Lacey said those very words of death; Jen immediately went on her like a lioness going right after her prey.

“Oh heeeeellll no, you think you’re gonna put me up fo’ that?!” Jen looked at Lacey with the immoral glare of a serial killer, ready to take out her next victim. “Bitch, who you think you talking to? At least I had the balls to want to try again, what the fuck did you do?” She stopped, seemingly so Lacey could answer her question. “What the fuck did you do?!” She inquired again, this time; with a louder and harsher tone. “You got your ass up and out, that’s what you do! You think you gonna be a head chef with that attitude? No one’s gonna wanna hire you!”

And all the red team could do was watch in either shock or silence as Jen verbally capsized Lacey to a level commonly seen in Hell’s Kitchen. ‘Pathetic’.

And then, she stuck her words deeper into her skin. “Where you working right now? I hear you working in some nail company called Jamberry. That’s what they told me, y’know what you should do? I’ll tell y’all what you should do. You should get the hell on outta here, and go back to Jamberry!”

“What the fuck man?!” Lacey angrily mustered out. “Yeah, that’s right! Y’all should go back to Jamberry or whatever motherfuckin’ grocery store, nail salon you came out of, cause i’m sorry honey; but the culinary world is not yo’ thing. STRAIGHT. UP. TRUTH.” And with that, Jen stormed away. Her point having been made.

(Confessional: And your winner via absolute verbal assassination…)

Jen: That bitch thinks she gonna put me up just because I was having a white girl moment? She don’t know me, i’m a former black jacket; she got her ass thrown out cause she couldn’t control her PMS or some shit like that. What’s she gonna do running a restaurant?

(END CONF)

The minutes passed: And eventually, the time had come. The red team made their long trepid walk toward the dining hall, the memories of the service that was still fresh in their minds. The blue team had already made their way to their seats, waiting to see which of their class of twenty would be no more. Ramsay made his way down the stairs and stared deep into the souls of the villains. Fear...determination...solidity. Exactly what he was hoping for.

“Red team, have we reached a decision?”

“Yes Chef.”

“Jackie,” The procedure began. “Red team’s first nominee and why?”

“Our first nominee is going to be Jen.” Jen shook her head in a nonchalant matter, almost letching out a haughty smile. “A garlicky risotto and the reason for it are not things needed to be a quality headchef.”

“Well, you’re right with that…” Ramsay noted. “And red team’s second nominee and why?”

“Our second nominee is…

…

…

…

Lacey.” Lacey just stood there, annoyed with her entire team. “The team felt that Lacey’s walkout during the middle of service was absolutely unacceptable, not just to us; but to you.”

“Right...Jen, Lacey, step forward.” Jen and Lacey made their way closer to Chef Ramsay, his searing eyes glaring towards them like knives on the kitchen table. They had only been here for one service, but for either one; there was a chance that it would be their last. “Jen.” He started with the one on the left, as he always did. “Why should you stay in Hell’s Kitchen?”

“Chef, they don’t realize it yet; but i’m a strong player in this competition. I can help my team win challenges and I almost always put my best foot forward during service.” Jen explained, still a little frosty from earlier; but certainly much calmer than she was beforehand. But there was one thing Ramsay had to goad her for. “You blamed the pans for your lackluster risottos.”

“I understand and I admit that I should not have done that because that’s just not how a risotto works.” Jen said, completely backpedalling from her anti-pan sentiment from earlier. With Jen seemingly wised up, Ramsay turned to “Lacey”.

“You walked out on your team tonight, not only that; you forced someone to the dorms with you...to make matters worse, they didn’t even come back to service.” Sabrina looked at Lacey, slightly shaking her head and giving a solemn glare. “I understand that Chef, and I really am sorry.”

“Then, why did you walk out?” Ramsay asked her. “You see, what happened was that I got flustered from everyone wanting one thing and another; one person wanted this, someone else wanted that, not to mention the people being thrown out because they couldn’t get their shit done right and the people trying to take over my station. Eventually, I just got so fed up that-”

“Stop...stop…” Ramsay looked on, petrified at what he had just heard. What was she doing?!  Why was she defending her right to walk out? In the end, there was only one result that seemed plausible. “I can’t go through this again with you…

…

…

Lacey, take off your jacket; your time is done.” Lacey stepped forward, her dream having come to an end: And with the dream burned into ashes on the ground; there was but no further reason to wear her jacket. So, she handed over her jacket to Ramsay, the first of many to see their journey come to an abysmal end. “Thank you for the opportunity Chef…” Lacey said, extending her hand so she could shake his.

But he was not in the mood for that. “Yeah, fuck off will you?” And with that, Lacey went off and exited through the gates of hell; officially bringing about an end to her dream. If her dream had even started to begin with that was. “Disappointing.” Ramsay commented. And that it was.

The Last Words of: Lacey

Lacey: I’m really disappointed in my team. I thought maybe they’d understand and want to give me another chance to prove myself. The only positive that comes out from this is that I get to sit on my easy chair next week and watch Jen go home next… (Concerned) She IS going home next...Right?...(voice smaller) Right?

(R.I.P)

Ramsay then stared at Jen, her standing in Hell’s Kitchen still in goodwill...for now at least. “You, wake up.”

Jen nodded, “Yes Chef.” And she made her way back to her team. Ramsay would then utter out a bit of masterful advice on his part to close the ceremony that was day 1. “Let this be a reminder: If there’s one person no one wants to work with...it’s a quitter. Is anyone willing to join her?”

“No Chef!”

“Good…” Ramsay surveyed the field. “Now get some sleep. You’ll need it.” And with that, the first night of Hell’s Kitchen: Heroes vs Villains had come to a conclusive end.

(Confessionals: Anything you guys want to share before I close up for the night?)

(TWO CONFESSIONALS REMAINING)

Russell: One down, nineteen to go; they don’t understand it right now. But i’m the odds on favorite to win this competition. Come tomorrow, everyone’s going to realize it. Even if it means going ‘behind the belt’.

(ONE CONFESSIONAL REMAINING)

Jen: (excited) Hell yeah i’m still here! Ain’t no one taking me out this early in the competion. (Fake sincerity) And ‘Lace Up’ Lacey? Can I call you that? Well, whatever you wanna be called; From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best in all your natural born future endeavors.

(NO CONFESSIONALS REMAINING, SIGNING OFF)

The Great Master’s Declaration:

Chef Ramsay: “Lacey walked on the team when they needed her most, so for their sake; I told her to walk right out the door”

And so it was. Lacey’s picture was burnt the very moment our legend return to his office. A relief it was, for there would be no chance in there being a soul either alive or dead that would be willing to work with her.

But as it comes our friends, this also marks the end of our time together...At least, for now. We hate to keep all of you up like this, with the competition having only begun and the drama already firing from all cylinders. Thankfully, we can assure you that we will soon meet again! When or where? It does not matter. What matters is what adventures we will tell you when we DO meet again, for the next in our many documents shall explain to you why wanting respect is not exactly the same as earning respect and how some people are not as all cracked up as we think they seem to be. For as macho and tough as they seem to portray themselves as, in the end: They might turn out to be a little more than shrimpy.

Be prepared. For when you return: We spirits shall give you the harrowing saga of shrimp, opportunity and diplomatic relations with thine teammates in the dramatic and pulse-pounding episode: What a Shrimp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second Course Survey
> 
> 1\. A surprising loss during the team challenge has someone feeling a little shell-fish. (Who wins the reward this week? Who from the other team ends up being 'shell-fish'?)
> 
> 2\. One chef's plan to start his quest for domination has him scouting the market for allies. (Who will Russell attempt to convince to join his alliance?)
> 
> 3\. And another's obnoxious personality and high standards is humbled when they put on a performance so bad Ramsay does something he's never done before. (Who's going to screw up bad during the next service?)


	3. Chapter 3: What A Shrimp!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprising loss during the team challenge has someone feeling a little shell-fish, meanwhile one chef's plan to start his quest for domination has him scouting the market for allies and another's obnoxious personality and high standards is humbled when they put on a performance so bad Ramsay does something he's never done before. (Who's going to screw up bad during the next service?)

DISCLAIMER: The information given to us by the contestants has been researched and looked up by the author himself, to protect the privacy of said contestants.

As a follow-up, please note that not everything I write may be true, this is a fictional story about real people and thus i’m bound to get some things wrong: If you feel I missed something about a certain contestant or that I wrote something about someone that was not true, please PM me on Reddit or a website where I can contact you and we can discuss a remedy for it.

 

Chapter 3: Act I: Lord of the Shrimps

A fine past-time for us spirits is the glorious and sometimes enviable moment that the haughty and arrogant chef who thinks he knows it all, or the egotist who condescends to you as if he or she has worked in the business for over twenty years or perhaps even the volatile and hot-footed cook who always wants to start a fight gets set down quite a few legs. That is because nine times out of ten, they will not be able to back up the talk with action.

But we have gotten ahead of ourselves: So let us push back say, four or so chapters from the brink and resume from where we left you. If you remember from last we met, Lacey had been shown the front door; her poor attitude once again being the victim. A very disappointing sight to see, but an inevitable one seeing her extreme lack of fightback.

What was not inevitable was the question everyone had been wondering, who was next? Alas, that question would have to be answered for another day; lest we reach the Final 4 by episode 6 or so. Thus, the remaining nineteen returned to the dorms where they would lick their wounds and recoup for the blissful night, hoping for a better tomorrow…

At least, that’s what it would’ve been if Johnny hadn’t broke the ice. “Alright...you wouldn’t mind if I?” Johnny turned to Sara. “Sure.” Sara nodded, giving Johnny permission to sit down. The next thing we knew, all of the red team (excluding Jen for wanting beauty sleep and Lacey for...well, obvious reasons) were together once again for a special team meeting. But why the sudden last minute of the day you wonder?

Confessional master, would you care give us an explanation?

(Confessional: On it!)

Johnny: Last time I was here, I didn’t get along with a lot of people here…

Yes, Hell’s Kitchen audiences delightfully remember how you bullied Jessica out of the competition and how you tried to do the same to Kimberly. There is a reason you are on the red team and not your precious blue team.

“So...it’s been one day now, and i’ve been thinking...” Oh Ramsay...Johnny can do that? Since when and how is that possible?

Johnny: So, this time; i’m gonna try and be a little more compassionate towards others, sort of try and use empathy instead of aggression.

(CONF END)

Well, let’s listen in on his idea...not like anything else he’s pitched has been any better.

“Now that we’ve worked a service together, I’m kind of thinking maybe now would be the perfect time to get to know each other a little better; y’know, who we are, why we’re here and what we’ve done since our season, something like that?”

...Huh. That’s actually pretty reasonable. Ah, it’ll probably fall apart quick, you know how villains get. Let’s keep listening, see what happens.

“So uh, if anyone wants to start…”

“I’ll go first.” The first voice rang out, and of all the people to start things off, it was Sabrina who answered the call. “So...I’m Sabrina, I was on the eighth season, pretty sure Russell can relate.” Russell stood near the wall, arms crossed. He nodded, no emotion in his face. “Once of the things you can probably expect from me is a bit of heart, a bit of passion, and a whole lotta fire.” Sabrina radiated the confidence of someone who was a world class michelin star chef (which even if she was, she wouldn’t be as good as the great master Ramsay). “Key warning? I’ve been known to be pretty fly for someone my kind.” She smirked, left hand on her hip. 

Johnny just sat there with a dopey looking expression on his face, “Ok...i’ll keep note of that.” Johnny finally garnered a voice. We can only assume the testosterone got to his brain and wanted to take control, but anyway you looked at it; it was clear that it turned him on.

We can only assume he isn’t married, at least; let’s hope he isn’t: We wouldn’t want to have another debacle akin to Andrew and Heather am I right?

Amazingly enough, this went on without any major distraction or interruption. You’d assume that with a group full of dysfunctional, egotistical shmucks that they’d devolve into arguing. But no, this went on rather civilly. Not only that, the nine villains turned dorm - mates actually learned a little something about each other.

“My name is Sara, and at one point in my life I was catering for Justin Beiber.” That impressed quite a few. “Yaass girl!” Sabrina squealed. “Now that’s a step up in the world…” Anton nodded.

(Confessional: Sabrina’s like that)

Sabrina: (jealous) Lucky...I want to cater for a pop star! Maybe like P Diddy or someone like that.

(END CONF)

“So, me being a former runner up, I should tell you right now that once your in the driver's seat: You gotta go.” Bryant gave out some good advice. “I can attest to that.” Russel nodded, smiling for the first time all season. Whether you liked it or not, Russell and Bryant had quite the influence over the rest of the team because of their stature.

“Well at the same time, I wouldn’t recommend using tough love to get the best out of your brigade...just saying!” Anton said, much to the amusement of the his fellow teammates. Russell didn’t exactly take fond of that, but he decided to -at least, just this one- to let it slide and play along.

(Confessional: Now what did he really think about that?)

Russell: Anton has no right telling me what to do. I’m 2nd place, he’s 8th. I’m not trying to classist or anything but…I think that makes me better than you.

(Oh shut up, END CONF)

“So my culinary instructor, Pat? He was on the show.” Jackie said. “Oh, you mean my season?” Johnny asked, the familiar name ringing through his ears. “Yep. That’s the one.”

(Confessional: Ah memories…)

Jackie: Pat’s basically the super cool father I wish I had. Lots of fun to be around, knows lots of good shit, even works in a band on occasion. He’s basically my master and I am his aspiring worshipper.

And yet he couldn’t cook a risotto to save his life during the first service of his season.

(END CONF)

Eventually, the number of people we (and by we, the spirits meant they) learned more about quickly dwindled until at last, only one remained.

“Alright, so that leaves...Suzanne.”

Suzanne looked around at the table, surprised that her name had been called on. She had remained relatively silent up to this point, preferring rather to listen than discuss, so you can tell that when her name was next to introduce herself to them: There was only one thing to say.

“Me?”

“Yep, it’s all you.” Johnny motioned her to say...well, whatever she wanted to say really.

(Confessional: And all she wanted to say, was all she wanted to say)

Suzanne: I’m thinking to myself, what can I tell them about about myself outside of the obvious...so I decide, you know what? F--k it, I might as well just talk about everything.

(END CONF)

“So, I grew up sort of in a really big household, ten brothers basically. I was the eleventh.”

“So you were basically the princess then?” Imagine if you will a Jackie cameo in a long monologue.

“Yes, I was the lone girl in a room full of boys. And they loved me very much.” Suzanne smiled. And that was only the beginning of the long diatribe that was ahead. Now of course, with Hell’s Kitchen being only an hour long adventure: We can only show you portions of her speech. And for the sake of you, and perhaps your sanity, us spirits of Hell’s Kitchen will provide you with the moments we were able to most pick-up. The cliff-notes if you will.

“I guess i’d say I was into cooking from like a really early age, I don’t know the exact one: But i’ll take a guess and say around five or six was when it really started…”

“The very first time I made a full meal all by myself...was probably the proudest moment up to that point of my life, wasn’t perfect: But, it was a sign of great things to come.”

“I’d like to say I was a pretty popular person in high school, usually got good grades; made lots of friends, and I learned a lot about the person I could be someday…”

“There was a time that I wanted to be a TV chef, go up in front of the cameras; walk down the red carpet, all that glamorous stuff...obviously, Hell’s Kitchen made me realize that maybe that wasn’t the best route for my career…”

In case you didn’t guess. Suzanne, was a chatterbox. And it did not go unnoticed from her fellow brethren.

(CONF: Cars? You think we’re the price is right?!)

Bryant: Suzanne, I didn't come here to be told about your first dish, your first job, I don't even want to hear about the first time you fucked your car up; I just want to know where you are and what you're made of.

In short, Bryant was no fan of what he was listening to…

Jen: And hearing Suzanne go through all those trials and tribulations...man, I gained a lot of respect for her. She a cool person

But Jen was a little more willing to forgive...What about Sabrina?

Sabrina: Huh..wha? I-i’m sorry, I dozed off there for a moment. Bitch was about as interesting to listen as it is to watching fuckin’ ants walk!

Sabrina had tried desperately not to prove this being the cure of insomnia, but was failing quite handedly in her quest. But even so, nothing would compare to what Johnny had to say.

Johnny: And she went on (S: “Obviously, I was not fit for being a musician so...that dream died quickly”), and on (S: “Then there was that one time I was on the local newspaper with the rest of my family. For awhile, I felt like a real celebrity; sort of like Emma Stone or Leonardo Dicaprio or someone like that…”, and on; basically giving us her life story, and the way she went about it was just, so, BORING. For example: Did you know that she lived in Las Vegas at one point? Yeah, Las Vegas; that state’s the envy of America, everyone and their grandmother have wanted to go there and yet, she makes it seems like it's another average Tuesday. Anyone else, they would have had made it a badge (raising his voice with every word) that you could hold up in the SKY... (quieter) but her? It's Tuesday. (shakes his head, down to a whisper) Fuckin' tuesday.

(END CONF...Jesus...)

By the end, pretty much everyone had either stopped listening, tried desperately to keep from dozing off or were somehow still listening with full intent (like say Russell, or Jackie, or Jen of all people). And then...at last, the words that finally spelt the dawning of light at the end of a cloudy and dreary tunnel.

“So uh...yeah, that’s me in a nutshell” The others could only look at her in silence, not willing to believe that somehow could have THAT much to say about their own life. There was really only one thing anyone could’ve added to the entire ordeal, and as he had started it,it was now his duty to end it right there. And he did by uttering put an amazed “...Wow”. And like that, all was peaceful.  
...  
…  
…

“Oh shit, I forgot to tell you about the time I-” Oh Ramsay, she was starting up again; at least, for a moment it seemed that way until cries of desperation rang out singing the same chorus line. “No!” In short: No one wanted to hear anymore than what they knew. Johnny put it in gentler terms for Suzanne. “I think that’s good for tonight…”

“Alright…” Suzanne rolled her eyes, reining disappointment that they would hear about this escapade she had that literally no one in the world except herself, the powers beside the great master and our audience which is forever dwindling because of the Internet and FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHY ARE WE-

(Intro Sequence)

Wash away the horror, wash away the horror...Oh Ramsay, why must us loyal spirits suffer for our art?

TBC.

**Author's Note:**

> Second Course Survey:
> 
> 1\. Chef Ramsay has raised the bar to another level, and only the strong will survive- (Ten contestants will be chosen to represent their teams in the bar menu challenge, of those ten; which four will be the frontrunners?)
> 
> 2\. An all out war at dinner service! Chefs being thrown every which way and Ramsay will stop at nothing to have a good service. (The team with more chefs still in the kitchen by the end of service will win opening night, of the twenty chefs; how many will remain when the night ends? On that note, which team wins out in the end?)
> 
> 3\. One chef just can't handle the pressure. (One of these ejections is going to be self-orchestrated as they get so frustrated and give up entirely. Who will that person be?)
> 
> Teams:
> 
> Blue Team (Heroes)  
> Elsie- Season 1  
> Josh- Season 3  
> Bobby- Season 4  
> Tenielle- Season 6  
> Vinny- Season 8  
> Roshni- Season 10  
> Rochelle- Season 12  
> Sterling- Season 13  
> Bret- Season 14  
> Hassan- Season 15
> 
> Red Team (Villains)  
> Sara- Season 2  
> Jen- Season 4  
> Lacey- Season 5  
> Suzanne- Season 6  
> Sabrina- Season 8  
> Russell- Season 8  
> Anton- Season 12  
> Bryant- Season 13  
> Jackie- Season 15  
> Johnny- Season 16


End file.
